Gee, Mail!

As you're aware, the internet continues to grow exponentially, and will soon collapse under its own weight.

Case in point: Google Mail. I hastily adapted my university email prefix into my current Yahoo! address back when things were different (before 9/11) (literally). Lately, I've been thinking about upgrading to GMail, but wasn't sure what username to adopt.

So I began to explore my options. My name? Taken. Common variations on my name? Taken. Current Yahoo! username? Taken.

Hmm. This is a very popular electronic mail system!


What if I picked a username that early-adopter types would disagree with?

NPRsucks@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about an outdated phrase -- one so unused that I can't remember how to spell it?

pantyraid@gmail.com? TAKEN!
pantieraid@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about an intentionally misspelled outdated phrase?

pantryraid@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a nonsense lyric from disc 2 of "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness"?

zipperblues@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a nonsense lyric from Extreme's 1991 album "Pornograffitti", NOT taken from the radio hits "More Than Words" or "Hole Hearted"?

getthefunkout@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about random two-word phrases?

epichorse@gmail.com? TAKEN!
hugelife@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about random sounds?

whoaohoh@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about the tagline from a somewhat forgotten film released just weeks ago?

whoissalt@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about gmail.com backwards?

moc.liamg@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a sentence no one could possibly agree with?

ihatetrees@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a difficult-to-spell animated character from Paula Abdul's 1989 "Opposites Attract" music video?

MCSkatKat@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a religious slant?

saintsebastian@gmail.com? TAKEN!
thepope@gmail.com? TAKEN!


What about a random two-word phrase that really sucks?

bellyfresh@gmail.com? AVAILABLE!!!


Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a new gmail account! (Not really.)