As the web site continues to grow, people continue to accidentally stumble upon Tornado Slide. You'd be really surprised by how many people search for variations of "'guy berryman' drunk" and end up here.
One individual typed "Naked pics Gustavus swimming angie" into a search engine, and this site emerged as a search result. The person may have been looking for Angela Miller, who is listed on the
women's swimming roster at Gustavus Adolphus College
I can't contact Angela Miller - Gustavus doesn't allow the general public to search for their students' email addresses. It's my hope that Minnesota's young Angela Miller is the curious type. Maybe she'll Google herself, see this text, and shed some light on why someone would search for naked pictures of her. Was the person looking for naked pictures of her in the pool? Naked pictures of her somewhere else? Is "swimming angie" Angela Miller or some other student? Perhaps a young co-ed that snuck into the natatorium late one night when she thought no one was looking? Maybe, someday, we'll know.
The most perplexing search was this one:
wheeled luggage sucks
This individual put the above words into a search engine, clicked on my site, and read about
my luggage's wheels clicking against the Albuquerque airport floor. This person then took the time to comment on the post:
Don't blame the architect. Wheeled luggage sucks. It's automatically heavier, has less interior space, and is hard to stuff into overhead compartments, because it has to be at least semi-rigid. It just generally slows you down. Think more about what you really need to take with you and save weight. Lighter is better and faster.
I guess it's tough being an unwheeled luggage salesman nowadays - I applaud his novel sales efforts. I do not applaud his advice. Hey jerk - why don't you get off your high horse? Do you think I'm an idiot? That I don't think about what I really need to pack? Do you picture me stuffing four business suits, a bowling ball, a loaf of Panera bread, a dozen Pepsi Big Slams, a bicycle lock, spare tires, a fern, a lamp, a lawn chair, mosquito netting, and toiletries into several gigantic, wheeled pieces of luggage? I picture you lecturing your kids about this every morning before they go off to school.
"Chad," (you named your kid Chad because he was a mistake and you want him to suffer all his life), "Chad, that bookbag is too heavy. You've got to think, son! Lighter is better and faster!"
"Sir," (you're also the kind of prick that makes his son call him "sir"), "I need all of these books for school."
"All the booksmarts in the world won't help you escape my terrible parenting and your terrible childhood."
"Yes, sir."Sometimes search terms are so unintelligible I can't even guess what they are for:
google you don t know. god created a women out of firth
condoms harmon Wichita
a tornado cough on camera
tornado hilarity
Sometimes I can guess what they're for, and I weep, mouth agape:
Nacho testicle
colonoscopy sketches humor
walgreens pictures of male silverback gorilla
DJ and KIMMY adult fan fiction
receiving handjob hiv risk?
how-to murder stab brain
four locations that tornado can happened at?
how to cleans the bowels
what to do when court in a tornado
flight attendant fuck video
what are the symptoms of a tornado
blowjobs and braces
TALKING GET-ER-DONE LIGHTER
"cpr and first aid" funny jokes
meth users rocking
Carl's Jr White Supremacist
crystal meth, housecleaning
colin farrell scrotum
slide handjobs
stormtrooper women
"DIET CHERRY VANILLA DR PEPPER" "BLOOD PRESSURE"
lyrics my milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard damn right it's better you’re your
detached vein right side of penis
black fat man slide pictures
jack johnson lyrics - know i'm falling asleep now im calling a cab
Finally, there are a few searches that I respect:
tattooed breasts
using an umlaut in Johannson
how to say "outstanding" in German
pictures of winona rider fucked
shins brunettes lawrence site:blogspot.com
guinness book of records chicken wings
"the juice is worth the squeeze"
longest makeout
"everything's fucked"
yeah from my head to my toes def lepp
hot chicks yearbook pics
I thought it was funny at the time, and I've been trying to piece together what I found so hilarious. I guess I pictured some calm, learned individual who didn't know what the whoop tone and strobelight signaled, so he put down his book and his pipe and poked his head out of his room, walked over to the elevator bank to find some informational signage, managed to read it despite the smoke filling the hallway, and THEN he figured out what he was experiencing was an "alarm".
