Did your aunt heap praise on "Sarah Palin's Alaska"? Did you see a Goldline pamphlet next to your father's recliner? Did New England running back Benjarvus Green-Ellis' name and/or race inspire lamentable comments from Gramps?
Communicate your "favorite" holiday moments in the comments.
Showing posts with label holiday embarrassments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday embarrassments. Show all posts
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Monday, November 23, 2009
Holiday Embarrassments
Although participation has dwindled in recent attempts, I want to do this contest again.
The contest was inspired by an experience of Jack Serpentine. When watching Thanksgiving Day football, a future in-law called Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and Campbell's Chunky Soup enthusiast Donovan McNabb "a humble Negruh". Since that fateful holiday, I have solicited similar stories of holiday embarrassments.
Your relatives' comment could be casually racist, ignorant, or just plain sad. Enter the quote into the comments below, are you are eligible to win! But you'd better bring your A-game, because Shawn's grandpa is super, super, super-duper racist.
The contest was inspired by an experience of Jack Serpentine. When watching Thanksgiving Day football, a future in-law called Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and Campbell's Chunky Soup enthusiast Donovan McNabb "a humble Negruh". Since that fateful holiday, I have solicited similar stories of holiday embarrassments.
Your relatives' comment could be casually racist, ignorant, or just plain sad. Enter the quote into the comments below, are you are eligible to win! But you'd better bring your A-game, because Shawn's grandpa is super, super, super-duper racist.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
The Contest Is Over
I know I said the contest would run until Friday, but it won't. It's over. Shawn won, because his relative asked if he wanted a helping of dark meat because he supported Obama. That's the only offensive or ignorant comment I heard about. Good job, everybody. Wait, no, it was not a good job. It was a job that no one applied for. For which no one applied. And now that goddamn "I tried to do handstands for you" song is playing over the iPod Nano commercial. Fuck it all.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Relative Remarks
ATTENTION READERS!
The Thanksgiving holiday brings with it my fledgling, second annual contest. I'm altering the competition this season, so please reacquaint yourself:
OBJECTIVE
Document the most offensive or ignorant comment spoken by a relative during your holiday interactions.
CLARIFICATIONS AND EXAMPLES
The categories are wide open. While "Offensive" is generally meant to describe racist comments, it is open to interpretation, and may skew based on your politics. "Ignorant" is also purposefully ambiguous.
If your uncle calls the president-elect the N-word, the comment unequivocally qualifies as "Offensive".
If your uncle calls the president-elect a muslim, the comment is "Ignorant", but may qualify for "Offensive" bonus points.
If your mom asks "what's a 'Mad Men'?", the comment is unequivocally "Ignorant".
RULES
1.> The comment(s) must originate from a relative or family friend old enough to know better.
2.> Baiting your relatives is encouraged. Tornado Slide recommends breaching the topic of universal health care.
3.> To participate, please post the qualifying comment(s) in the comment section below, or email the comment to me. Please include a brief background (my grandfather fought in WWII, my family is from Oklahoma, etc.)
4.> Submissions will be accepted through Friday, December 5.
5.> Awards will be given for both the "Offensive" and "Ignorant" category.
6.> I am the boss.
GOOD LUCK, KIDS!
The Thanksgiving holiday brings with it my fledgling, second annual contest. I'm altering the competition this season, so please reacquaint yourself:
OBJECTIVE
Document the most offensive or ignorant comment spoken by a relative during your holiday interactions.
CLARIFICATIONS AND EXAMPLES
The categories are wide open. While "Offensive" is generally meant to describe racist comments, it is open to interpretation, and may skew based on your politics. "Ignorant" is also purposefully ambiguous.
If your uncle calls the president-elect the N-word, the comment unequivocally qualifies as "Offensive".
If your uncle calls the president-elect a muslim, the comment is "Ignorant", but may qualify for "Offensive" bonus points.
If your mom asks "what's a 'Mad Men'?", the comment is unequivocally "Ignorant".
RULES
1.> The comment(s) must originate from a relative or family friend old enough to know better.
2.> Baiting your relatives is encouraged. Tornado Slide recommends breaching the topic of universal health care.
3.> To participate, please post the qualifying comment(s) in the comment section below, or email the comment to me. Please include a brief background (my grandfather fought in WWII, my family is from Oklahoma, etc.)
4.> Submissions will be accepted through Friday, December 5.
5.> Awards will be given for both the "Offensive" and "Ignorant" category.
6.> I am the boss.
GOOD LUCK, KIDS!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The Amazing Racists
For the second consecutive Thanksgiving season, Tornado slide will be the premier a destinaton for holiday-weary souls to relate embarrassing, awful situations involving their racist relatives.
My readers are few, but the competition should prove tremendous. I believe three -- THREE! -- readers will be spending part of their holiday in Oklahoma, the home of casual racism. (That should be on the OK license plate: "The Home of Casual Racism".) A previous winning story originated in Oklahoma: years back, before the blog, Jack Serpentine heard an Oklahoman's describe Donovan McNabb as "a humble Negro"... and the Oklahoman MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT.
Post your horrific tales in the comments. Prizes will be awarded for both direct and latent racism.
Early Favorites
[NOTE: Shawn would be higher, but I'm not sure if he will be visiting his racist grandpa.]
Jack Serpentine / V (Oklahoma) - 3:2
My Cousin Brian (Oklahoma) - 1:2
Bag / Sarah (Oklahoma) - 1:3
Shawn (Grandpa) - 1:5
Corinne (Bumper-sticker-conservative father) - 1:20
Barbara (German father) - 1:25
Heavy Underdogs
Matt (in Spain, alone) - 1:1000
Dougal (in Britain, being British) - 1:5000
My readers are few, but the competition should prove tremendous. I believe three -- THREE! -- readers will be spending part of their holiday in Oklahoma, the home of casual racism. (That should be on the OK license plate: "The Home of Casual Racism".) A previous winning story originated in Oklahoma: years back, before the blog, Jack Serpentine heard an Oklahoman's describe Donovan McNabb as "a humble Negro"... and the Oklahoman MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT.
Post your horrific tales in the comments. Prizes will be awarded for both direct and latent racism.
Early Favorites
[NOTE: Shawn would be higher, but I'm not sure if he will be visiting his racist grandpa.]
Jack Serpentine / V (Oklahoma) - 3:2
My Cousin Brian (Oklahoma) - 1:2
Bag / Sarah (Oklahoma) - 1:3
Shawn (Grandpa) - 1:5
Corinne (Bumper-sticker-conservative father) - 1:20
Barbara (German father) - 1:25
Heavy Underdogs
Matt (in Spain, alone) - 1:1000
Dougal (in Britain, being British) - 1:5000
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Race For The Most Racist
I'm back from an uneventful Thanksgiving weekend in Wichita.
Please post your relatives' borderline-to-blatantly racist Thanksgiving moments below.
I'll start:
(relative sees a lowered truck a few parking stalls down)
"I guess I should park up here a bit, away from those Mexicans."
UPDATE: This topic is being tag-teamed, courtesy of Circle V. See her site for more racist fun!
Please post your relatives' borderline-to-blatantly racist Thanksgiving moments below.
I'll start:
(relative sees a lowered truck a few parking stalls down)
"I guess I should park up here a bit, away from those Mexicans."
UPDATE: This topic is being tag-teamed, courtesy of Circle V. See her site for more racist fun!
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