IKEAn't Describe It Part 2

What a long wait for so little payoff. Oh well - here is what I did on my vacation. (Remember that SNL sketch where David Spade taught people how to talk more efficiently, and he abbreviated the word "vacation" as "vaca", pronounced VAY-cay? Me neither. And I just spent 10 minutes trying to Google it - no dice. Damn.)

Saturday night, we got a good group together to play Chug It. Chug It is a board game that I have seen in exactly two places. The first was through Heather - I believe she received it as a gift. The second was at a 24 hour porn shop in Oklahoma City. The shop deemed it so important, it was located behind the counter. And did you know that the porno in OKC is edited? Soft core only, folks. But I digress.

Chug It is kind of like the board game Life, except that instead of landing on a space that says "It's a boy!", it says, "Eat a banana Debbie Does Dallas style, or else Chug It!"



(Pretty good for never seeing the film, no?)

For our purposes, a "chug" was defined as drinking your beer for about 5 seconds. This was a much more successful definition than the first time I ever played, when a shot of Ketel One was used. Although I didn't pull out a victory Saturday, I am proud because:

A.> I remember every moment of this game, unlike game 1, and
B.> I didn't spend an hour throwing up into my bathtub, unlike game 1, and
C.> Heather was forced to lay one on my unshaven self after landing on the ol' "passionately kiss the person to your right" square. No kiss is as sexy as a Pig's-Eye-Lean-and-Chug-It-fueled kiss.



Outside of the world's weirdest board game, I successfully taught Heather how to enjoy MTV's Next, and unsuccessfully explained the blood feud between vampires and werewolves to Heather and Corinne. I spent 4 hours or so in IKEA, ate the meatballs, and bought my first cutting board. I ate a Jucy Lucy, D'Amico's turkey with dried cherries salad, tapas with free wine, a french toast flavored muffin, a mocha, royal tea, Kowalski's rotisserie chicken, and many a biscuit.

I also learned where the Flemish come from. Thanks, Serpentine!