More Minnesota

I forgot to mention a seminal moment from my MLK weekend. Saturday afternoon, as we dined at D'Amico's on Hennepin, two female students sat down at the opposite end of our table. They sucked. However, one of the women did give me a case of the silent chuckles. She told her pal about a former friend's excuses for neglecting her, "It's been a really stressful semester, with Hurricane Katrina, and two guys both like me."

Best excuse ever, man.

And yes, as the previous post's comments mention, I did watch some David Blaine Street Magic with Heather. Here's how it would go:

1. David Blaine performs mind-blowing "trick".
2. Heather says, "How did he do that?!"
3. I say, "Magic."
4. Heather says, "No, really - this bothers me. How did he do that?"
5. I say, "It's fucking MAGIC!"
6. Heather frowns.
7. I spout various expletives and threats to Heather, insisting she believes in David Blaine, lest she face the consequences.

Last, I noticed that Heather's bottle of Heinz ketchup was advertising it's latest "Say Something Ketchuppy" contest (which appears to be over...was that bottle expired?) Corinne's idea was "The punchline to bad jokes kids tell." Mine was "Better tasting than blood, which is also red."

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Read about the vampire running for governor in the great state of Minnesota:

I've had people from the Church of Satan contact me to deal with a pagan high priest who was molesting teenage girls. I'm into witchcraft and the black arts, so I cast a spell on this S.O.B. and he suffered a massive heart attack. He's not molesting children anymore.

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If you like Fiona Apple and/or bearded comedians, watch the video for "Not About Love".