Monday, March 07, 2011

Time To Dry

Electric hand dryers used to have different instructions printed on them. Nowadays, they just have little pictures next to numbered steps. In olden times, step one said "Push Button", and the second step probably said "Rub Hands Together".

I'm only certain about the first step's text, because every one I ever used had been vandalized to read "Pus Butt".

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The World Is... Not Enough?

Remember this thing? It's still on my desk. I've been hoping its supports would slowly bend and fail, and I could witness its end "The World Without Us" style, but it seems my engineering skills are too strong. And today, this happened:

GUY FROM DOWN THE HALL: (stands in cubicle entryway, pauses) "I see you made the world."

ME: "........y-yes?"

GUY FROM DOWN THE HALL: "It's a house of cards." (walks away)

I don't chat with him much.

I'm moving from the cubicle to this thing with four walls and a door and a window, and on Friday I got this catalog and looked at my furniture options. It was much less fun than I thought it would be -- it was like choosing my coffin, except I'll never have to look at my coffin, much less see it every day for the foreseeable future.