Dan-A-Carve-y

Carved pumpkins on Saturday. It was my first time! Very cool! Also very cool, my wife dedicating her jack-o-lantern to me. Hers is on the left, and even says "#1" on the back.


Several days of 80-degree weather have these things looking horribly limp now.

The Walking Dumb - Season 2 Episode 2

[Floyd and I continue to discuss AMC's "The Walking Dead", a hugely popular cable series about zombies that is terrible and makes little sense.]

dn: do you want to go through the show bit by bit

dn: or just discuss a few things

floyd: I mean, with this episode, it could be recapped in about three sentences

floyd: what with all the action and plot movement and all

dn: right. so let's discuss the dying boy plotline first

dn: The boy gets shot by a bullet that goes through a deer and into his stomach

dn: turns out this fat hunter was the guy who fired

dn: so he directs Grimes and Shane to a farmhouse, where he says a doctor can help the boy

floyd: it was a hell of a shot

dn: yes, through dense woods

floyd: and a convenient time to know a doctor nearby

floyd: without that doctor within running distance, that plotline would have really fizzled

dn: lots of stuff was near this area, it turns out

dn: i mean, the traffic jam on the highway

dn: the church in the woods

dn: and now a gorgeous turn-of-the-century farmhouse/ranch

floyd: that the zombie hordes have completely left alone

dn: maybe they should call this show "The Walking Deux Ex Machina"

floyd: I will if you will

dn: so they get to the farmhouse, and the boy is in bad shape but maybe the doctor can fix him

dn: he's got to pull some bullet fragments out of his flank

floyd: the doctor also immediately knew how many fragments the bullet split into

floyd: it was 6

floyd: six fragments

dn: yeah, he could see all 6 somehow

floyd: there's more to this doctor than we see at first glance perhaps?

dn: you're suggesting he has magical powers?

floyd: I mean, why not?

floyd: in a world where zombies can use tools and climb ladders, anything is possible

dn: he had more of a Wilfred Brimley vibe, in my opinion

dn: I just figured he'd fix some oatmeal and check his diabetes and let the kid die

floyd: which would have possibly been more exciting than what actually happened

dn: right

floyd: I mean, I'd watch that show

floyd: "Kid's a goner. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some 'meal to much on"

dn: he'd be such a loveable curmudgeon!

dn: "In my day, we beat zombies to death with whole grain oats."

floyd: I would kind of like to see Brimley fight a zombie invasion, though

dn: I would like to see the whole cast of "Cocoon" fight them

floyd: you wouldn't be able to tell who the zombies were

dn: But anyway, the doctor and his lovely daughters go into medical mode, and transfuse the dad's blood into the kid. The kid wakes up as the doc is pulling out a bullet fragment, so he's screaming in pain

dn: this causes the dad to freak out and yell, "STOP YOU'RE KILLING HIM!!!"

floyd: haha

floyd: still hilarious

dn: the best! I laughed for the next five minutes, no joke.

floyd: way to be tough, Rick

dn: i mean, the kid had no idea where he was!

dn: all he knew is he woke up

floyd: and some old man is cutting him open

dn: someone was digging in his chest

dn: and holding him down

floyd: and his dad is screaming like a lunatic

dn: great parenting. very cool under pressure.

floyd: he's been through a lot!

floyd: as they constantly remind us

floyd: over and over

floyd: I'd like "STOP YOU'RE KILLING HIM" to become a meme

dn: i'd love to hear that every week

floyd: also, what are the odds of the phrase "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME" occurring in the next episode?

dn: the show moves so slow I'd like to have something to look forward to

dn: well, let's talk about the planned surgery

dn: Shane and fat hunter decide to go to the high school to get supplies for the bullet fragment surgery

dn: because the hospital burned to the ground about "one month" ago

floyd: convenient again

dn: which helps us with the timeline we discussed last week

dn: these people have been in zombieland for more than a month

dn: I'd say two months easy, right?

floyd: I have no idea

floyd: how long was Rick under?

dn: who knows? not the writers, that's for sure

floyd: I figured he woke up about a week after shit went down, right?

dn: i guess it doesn't matter, except to say that everyone should be more used to zombie life by now

floyd: and then he found his family pretty quickly

floyd: the point is that it took his whore wife less than a month to start a relationship with his best friend

dn: haha

dn: get busy fuckin or get busy dyin

floyd: man, remember how disgusting that sex scene was in the first season? between Whore and Shane?

floyd: ugh

floyd: gives me shivers

dn: yeah, backwoods fuckin

floyd: and then later Shane tries to rape her

floyd: good pick there, lady

dn: plus, not that it would improve things much, but neither are very attractive?

floyd: has either smiled yet?

floyd: in the entire series?

dn: really strange that AMC decided not to cast any attractive people in this show

floyd: she might be more attractive if she ever, ever smiled

floyd: and maybe ate a cheeseburger once in awhile

dn: most horror flicks ONLY cast attractive people to make up for the shit writing

dn: she might be more attractive if she wasn't a wet blanket

floyd: on EVERYTHING

dn: and if this show didn't have, like, 7 wet blanket characters that would help too

floyd: like when she finds out the doctor

floyd: the doctor that miraculously was close by in the woods

floyd: was only a veterinarian

floyd: I mean, Jesus, lady, this old man is trying to save your boring son

floyd: give him a break

dn: yeah she's the worst

dn: everybody is the worst

floyd: btw, that kid makes Jake Lloyd seem like Marlon Brando

dn: ahahaha

dn: all he's asked to do is frown, so...

floyd: and smile when he sees deer

floyd: he's decent at playing dead, I guess

floyd: perhaps he's got a future in crime serials

dn: ok ok. so to sum up this plotline, the 2 guys go to get medical supplies, but as they try to escape the zombies they end up locking themselves in the high school

dn: will they make it back to the house with the supplies in time to save the shitty acting kid?

floyd: real quick on that

floyd: so they use flares to distract the zombies

floyd: to get into the surgery trailer

floyd: they didn't have an exit plan?

dn: yeah, they could have brought an extra flare with them

floyd: or, I don't know, anything other than what they did

floyd: crap, have the guy mow through the zombies in the truck or something

dn: pretty terrible work

floyd: I would have gotten some gasoline and set the zombies on fire

floyd: or maybe set the truck on fire, with a corpse in it, so it'll smell tasty to the zombies, and then rolled it past them so they'd chase and kill themselves trying to get in

floyd: see?

floyd: it's not that fucking hard, Shane

dn: and now they're trapped inside the school, so maybe some chemistry lab stuff will happen next week to kill all those zombies

dn: but probably not, because that would be exciting

floyd: I'm actually kind of interested to see how stupid the way they escape is

floyd: what deus ex machina they'll use this time

dn: i bet they won't cover themselves in zombie entrails

floyd: does one-armed redneck brother make a reappearance?

dn: because that already worked once

floyd: right, they won't do that again

floyd: I was kind of hoping that they'd just start blasting zombies through the grate

floyd: with enough bullets, that could work

dn: with infinite bullets, yes

floyd: and the fat guy is already good at hitting two targets with one bullet

dn: haha

dn: you know, what's stopping them from just stabbing each zombie in the eye through the grate?

dn: it would take a lot of time, but isn't it foolproof?

floyd: well, I think the grate is going to break before they could finish that

floyd: but otherwise, yeah, that would work

floyd: the zombies are just going to line up for it

floyd: patience is the key when dealing with zombie hordes

floyd: also, having an exit plan

floyd: that's important

dn: should we mention the other plotlines? they are barely worth mentioning

floyd: you know who would do really well in a zombie apocalypse?

floyd: you guessed it, John Olerud

dn: he's protected, and he's precise

dn: my hero

floyd: well, the only other real plotline is that the others are getting ready to leave them behind, right?

dn: yeah

dn: the group is split up and maybe they should move on down the road?

floyd: where were they going again?

floyd: another army base or something?

dn: although they haven't been attacked on the highway for days and it seems kinda fine at the moment.

dn: Yeah, I guess an army base

floyd: right, the zombies are kind of thinning out

floyd: and apparently are content to just swarm around FEMA trailers

floyd: is that a metaphor?

floyd: is that a RACIST metaphor?

dn: I assume so

floyd: also note that the only black guy still alive would die without the help of the Southern white man

floyd: this show is suspect

dn: right, the black guy has an infection and needs antibiotics

dn: which he gets from the redneck

dn: and i'm sure there is no problem with dosing or antibiotic resistance

floyd: are those things?

dn: I'm sure you can just grab some from the bag and fix your problems, no sweat

floyd: I'm not in the medical field

floyd: I would just grab some from a bag and fix my problems, I think

dn: yeah it's fine

dn: any pill will fix you, basically

floyd: you sound like my grandma

floyd: rest in peace

dn: lol?

dn: lol!

floyd: STOP YOU'RE KILLING HIM

dn: so that's it? that was the whole goddamn hour of television? we've summed it all up?

floyd: that took an entire hour

floyd: there was one interesting part

floyd: just one

floyd: when Rick and the doctor are having the conversation on the porch

floyd: you know, just wasting away the afternoon while the little boy with the gunshot wound lays dying

dn: they had to get some air

dn: the whole house smelled like boy death

floyd: and the doctor talks about how this is just a correction

floyd: and Rick disagrees

floyd: see, that's the glimmer of a deeper story that I enjoy

floyd: I doubt they'll get back to it

floyd: but they almost had something interesting there

floyd: then we got back to angst

floyd: and Shane and Rick's awkward, forced bromance

dn: didn't he compare the zombie outbreak to AIDS?

floyd: ha, yeah, he did

floyd: AIDS was just like a zombie outbreak

floyd: all those homosexuals running around, biting people

floyd: man, the 80s were crazy

dn: Crystal Pepsi. Ghostbusters. Gay sex. The '80s!

floyd: so I was reading another message board about the show

floyd: and spoiler alert: apparently there's more to this farmhouse than it first appears

floyd: what are the odds that this "doctor" is performing unorthodox, perhaps unethical experiments in an attempt to find a cure?

dn: nah

dn: I bet there's just a cellar with some root vegetables in it

floyd: haha

floyd: they're just Mormons

floyd: they politely ask Rick and his wife if they've heard of Mormonism

floyd: Rick and wife decline, and they leave it alone

floyd: and that's episode 3

floyd: that conversation takes 45 minutes

dn: it takes the next 4 episodes

floyd: at the end a single zombie is seen walking toward the house

floyd: that's it

floyd: thanks for tuning into another awesome episode of The Walking Dead

dn: they try to get Rick and his wife to sign up for Amway

floyd: hahaha

floyd: Shane's totally into it

floyd: "I've always wanted to own my business"

dn: haha

dn: "This could be the sign I've been waiting for"

floyd: if this show is a metaphor for Amway ... ok, I could accept that

dn: so we're done? just waiting to see if this kid dies I guess?

floyd: and if the little girl shows up again, maybe

floyd: and to see how Shane and the fat guy survive the zombie horde

floyd: I mean, those are the only plotlines they really left us with at this point

dn: well, if the kids and a few adults die, we could maybe get this show down to a manageable number of horrible people I don't care about

floyd: they need to kill Jamie Lee Curtis already

floyd: and the blonde

floyd: really most of the other group besides the redneck

floyd: weirdly

dn: let's hope.

dn: until next time?

floyd: have a good evening

dn: love you

floyd: real quick:

floyd: costume idea

floyd: Amy Winehouse zombie

floyd: too soon?

floyd: or too late?

dn: uh, too late?

dn: I think you'd just look like a zombie

floyd: but man, what a voice

dn: you'd just look like a gross dead woman

floyd: "She died as she lived"

The Walking Dumb - Season 2 Episode 1

[As promised, Floyd and I are going to chat online every Monday to complain about AMC's "The Walking Dead", a free television show we watch of our own free will.]

dn: Season 2 of The Walking Dead starts, and our heroes are driving a caravan down the Georgia interstate. We learn they're short on gasoline. Why are they short on gasoline? Granted, they have several cars and a huge RV, but it seems there are plenty of cars around to siphon gas from in this post-zombie world.

floyd: yeah, I felt that a lack of fuel was a weak excuse to not turn around and avoid the blocked highway

floyd: also, why did they think the highway wouldn't be blocked?

floyd: it's like Post-Apocalyptic Living 101

floyd: avoid the highway, because it's going to be crammed full of abandoned cars

floyd: or some reason

dn: it is strange there there would be sudden congestion on one short stretch of interstate. do you think there was some kind of Oceans 11-esque pulse bomb the zombies set off to disable everyone's cars?

floyd: without knowing the exact geography it's impossible to tell

floyd: I guess it was because of that overturned trailer

floyd: but why did that overturn?

floyd: that's the thing that's never really explained in zombie lore

dn: I'm dubious. Anyway,

floyd: was the traffic jam swarmed by slow-moving zombies?

floyd: which somehow made a trucker jackknife and overturn?

dn: the group decides to use this opportunity to siphon gas and search for supplies

floyd: sure

floyd: turns out there's plenty of fuel, as you pointed out

floyd: and supplies

dn: Mrs. Grimes has a problem taking things from the cars, saying, "This place is a graveyard."

floyd: but it's a graveyard!

dn: how long after the inital zombie invasion do you think this is?

dn: several months, right?

floyd: two weeks?

floyd: three?

floyd: how long did it take Grimes to find the others?

floyd: you think several months?

floyd: they're still freaking out too much for it to be that quick

dn: I guess we don't exactly know, but wouldn't you say it's time she start thinking in Post-Apocalypic terms by now?

floyd: well, sure, but I mean, for me that switch would have turned on really quickly

floyd: probably right around the first time zombies tried to kill me

floyd: and the abandoned cities and all

floyd: and the legions of corpses

dn: She should have a tougher attitude. Tough enough to do something CRAZY like TAKE FOOD FROM DEAD PEOPLE'S CARS

floyd: right

floyd: she's showing total pre-apocalypse morality

floyd: although to be fair, I don't see the problem with stealing from the dead now, so I can't really relate at all why that would be a problem

dn: yeah, that is kinda your thing

dn: with the necrophilia and all

floyd: Bring back the estate tax! Occupy Zombie Atlanta!

dn: So next...

dn: The lookout does an excellent job of looking out for zombies, because he sees one. It's next to the other hundred that he failed to see.

floyd: that are 50 yards away

floyd: all of a sudden

floyd: he was using binoculars

dn: yes. and Grimes directs everyone to get under the cars

floyd: which seems, at the time, like a terrible idea

floyd: but it almost works

floyd: because zombies can't smell people this season or something

dn: let me talk about some plot holes a moment

dn: in season one, they successfully camouflaged themselves by wearing zombie flesh.

dn: so the zombies couldn't smell their aliveness

dn: now, they can hide their smell by hiding under cars?

floyd: sounds like an Axe commercial

dn: and

dn: two of the group had to act fast because they couldn't get under cars, so they threw corpses over themselves for shields

dn: and that worked? So the zombies can smell you if they can see you, but not if you're hiding under a van?

dn: am I missing something?

floyd: I mean, I guess

dn: shall I move on?

floyd: i mean, I don't know any better

floyd: it's almost as if the zombies behavior is predicated on what will create the most suspenseful scene

dn: it's almost like this WHOLE THING is FAKE!!!

floyd: these zombies are real drama queens

floyd: did you ever consider that maybe it was a trick?

floyd: that the zombies were just pretending not to sense them as they shuffled by

floyd: and then, when the humans were lulled into a false sense of security, the zombies would turn around and slowly shuffle back and eat them?

dn: well, that would be interesting. setting them up for a later ambush

floyd: it would be more interesting than what happened, anyway

dn: so next...

dn: the little girl in the group runs off in the woods to escape some zombies, and the rest of the episode is the group trying to find that girl

dn: and it's terribly dull

floyd: well, let's go back for a second

floyd: the one zombie decides to check out the RV, which must have just reeked of manflesh

floyd: just the one

floyd: the others shuffle past

floyd: but this one is a little more canny

floyd: he smells it, the whiny panicking woman

floyd: so he checks it out

dn: she's hiding in the bathroom, so he decides to open the door, like a zombie does

floyd: but only after she decided to continue trying to reassemble the gun

floyd: and drops a piece on the floor like someone that deserves to die would do

floyd: the zombie hears this

floyd: puts it all together

floyd: "RRRaaaarrrghghg, there's people in there"

floyd: THEN tries to open the flimsy door

floyd: None of the other zombies notice this commotion

dn: no, even with all the screaming

floyd: for some reason

floyd: and, as you pointed out, she proceeds to stab the zombie in the eye socket with her mouth wide open

dn: WIDE OPEN

floyd: despite the spurting, highly contagious zombie blood

floyd: which miraculously misses her mouth and eyes

dn: like she's desperately trying to infect herself with some zombie blood in her orifice

floyd: well, she was suicidal ...

floyd: maybe she ... wanted to be infected?

floyd: TWIST

dn: going back a second, do you think a zombie can easily set up and get in that RV?

floyd: was the door even open?

dn: yes, but I always thought they took the path of least resistance

floyd: God

floyd: ok, let's follow this really quick

floyd: man stands on top of 14 foot RV with binoculars

floyd: doesn't see zombies until they're right fucking on top of everybody

floyd: not even enough time to warn the woman IN THE RV DIRECTLY BELOW HIM

floyd: that there's zombies on the way

floyd: she's caught by surprise

floyd: by these fucking zombies

floyd: ugh

floyd: ok, Christ, moving on

floyd: it's just, would it be that hard to set up the zombie shuffle-by better?

dn: yeah, seems like she could have closed the RV door

floyd: it's just so goddam lazy

dn: the writers just try to think of ways to get close human/zombie proximitiy on camera

floyd: so all the zombies go by except for the two stragglers

floyd: despite the rrrhaarrrging, and the screaming

floyd: remember Dan, it's not about the zombies, it's how these regular people cope with living in a zombie world

dn: bleh

dn: anyway, the girl goes missing, so Grimes and Co. have to search for her

floyd: can we talk about that for just a second?

dn: yup

floyd: this girl gets noticed by zombies

floyd: the mom doesn't make a fucking peep

dn: you think she should have made noise to draw the zombies toward her?

floyd: well, she should have done something if she was going to play guilt trip for the rest of the episode

floyd: on Grimes, the only one with enough balls to actually try to save the child

dn: right, so mistakes were made, and she gets lost in the woods.

floyd: after the least exciting chase scene since ...

dn: Grimes and redneck guy go searching for her, and come across a new zombie, which is shot in the face with a crossbow

dn: they realize he's eaten recently, and decide to cut him open to see if he has little girl in his stomach

dn: they find the remains of a woodchuck. like, the whole skull of a woodchuck. in the zombie stomach.

floyd: is that what it was?

floyd: I didn't see that, I was eating

dn: pretty sure they pulled out bones, a skull specifically, because how else would you know what rodent it was?

floyd: I just took their word for it

dn: this raises a billion questions about zombie digestion, and the zombie's quest for flesh in general

floyd: exactly

dn: if they NEED flesh to eat and survive, why are there so many half-eaten humans lying around?

floyd: and how did that zombie catch a freaking woodchuck?

floyd: I mean, woodchucks aren't as agile as many other rodents

floyd: but they're still hard to catch

floyd: for a living human

dn: Yeah! I don't think zombies can even bend over far enough to pick a dead woodchuck off the ground!

floyd: much less the slow-moving, creaking undead

floyd: those zombies chasing that girl were almost running, though

dn: yeah. not 28 Days Later speed, but ambling kinda fast

floyd: they probably had the agility to bend over

floyd: if the woodchuck was actually dead

floyd: the zombies did eat that horse in the first season

floyd: maybe the woodchuck was injured?

dn: and climbed up the zombie and went to sleep on his shoulder?

floyd: haha

floyd: I just pictured a zombie woodchuck sitting on a zombie shoulder

floyd: the woodchuck was basically the puppet from Caddyshack

floyd: now that's what they should have pulled out of the stomach

dn: haha

floyd: "It's ... it's a hand puppet ..."

floyd: "

floyd: and then the Caddyshack song plays

floyd: "It's alright .... nobody's looking at me"

dn: this show needs more Kenny Loggins

floyd: and then zombie Rodney Dangerfield appears

floyd: STILL GETS NO RESPECT

dn: can we talk about the church?

floyd: haha

floyd: yes

dn: so they hear bells ringing, and find a church in a clearing

dn: your typical rural Georgia church in the clearing of some dense woods

dn: the doors are closed, so they open them and see...

dn: 3 zombies in pews, facing Jesus at the altar

dn: those zombies aren't hungry? Don't wanna get out of that room and explore?

floyd: I think it was a metaphor

dn: for a shitty tv show?

floyd: something like that

floyd: it was meant to make the audience ask the question: Was Jesus the first zombie?

floyd: the answer is no, no he wasn't

floyd: Lazarus was the first zombie

floyd: it's in the Bible

floyd: anyway

dn: the doors weren't barricaded or locked, you know. and those bells were ringing every 10 minutes or so - they should have been drawn to the sound

floyd: it made absolutely no sense

floyd: these zombies follow no code

floyd: question:

floyd: because I can't remember

floyd: have they explained how zombie-ism is spread?

dn: not really, but biting seems like the cause. you'd assume any zombie blood would also infect you

floyd: I mean, would would assume, but we'd also assume that zombies wouldn't just sit in an unlocked church, or eat woodchucks, or shuffle down the highway for no reason

floyd: I'm just saying, we haven't seen anyone turn yet

floyd: and there are corpses just laying around that aren't zombies

floyd: with no apparent head trauma

dn: right. did it not say anything about it in the comic?

floyd: the comic was worse than the show

floyd: and I can't really remember if it did

floyd: I mean, I think it's just going on those assumptions

floyd: but these people don't appear terribly careful around zombie blood

floyd: bashing brains in with rocks with their eyes open, stabbing while screaming, etc.

dn: wearing zombie flesh on their person. anyway, let's move on to the final sequence, where the group splits up and heads back toward their cars

floyd: God this episode was long

floyd: and they split up after TWO desperate pleas to Jesus

dn: Well, when you have a Jesus statue handy, you gotta use it

dn: the guy's not omnipresent, you know

floyd: haha

floyd: how predictable was it that Grimes wasn't religious?

dn: "I'm a Sheriff. I believe in the law."

floyd: tough as nails, that one

dn: "I'm still wearing a badge for some reason."

floyd: a cuckold, but tough as nails

dn: so Grimes, the redneck, and Grimes Jr are walking in the woods and come across a deer.

floyd: so they split up

floyd: smartly taking the child with them

dn: Redneck goes to shoot the deer with his bow

dn: probably because it's bow season and not rifle.

dn: once you down a buck with a bow, Floyd, you never go back to a gun

floyd: they don't want to fire the guns, because it would attract zombies

dn: Grimes stops him from firing

dn: the bow

floyd: because the kid wants to get close to the fully grown deer with a full rack

floyd: terrible parenting

floyd: wait

dn: and because he doesn't want to collect meat for the group from which to live off of

floyd: it's not the redneck

floyd: it's Shane

floyd: with a shotgun

dn: oh sorry

floyd: the redneck went back with the others, for some reason

dn: so they let Grimes Jr walk up to the deer

floyd: so to be fair, shooting a deer with a shotgun is pretty stupid

dn: I don't know why

floyd: because they're both terrible parents

dn: was he going to pet a deer? try to ride it like a horse?

dn: break its neck?

floyd: get gutted by antlers?

floyd: that's what I thought was going to happen

dn: yeah man, When Animals Attack

floyd: wipe that shit-eating grin right off of that dumb kid

floyd: "and that's why you always leave a note"

dn: instead, we hear a rifle shot, and the bullet is fired from somewhere in the distance, goes through the deer and hits Grimes Jr in the stomach

floyd: that is one high-powered rifle and a lucky shot

floyd: or unlucky, I guess, if you didn't want the kid to die

dn: so the end of this episode

dn: I'm not happy with it

floyd: be honest, though: would you have expected the episode to end with anything other than a shameless deus ex machina?

dn: It's going to focus them on healing this kid now

dn: when I want to see them going somewhere cool and doing something cool

floyd: man, are you looking forward to an hour of people acting anguished over a dying child?

floyd: a child with a high-powered rifle bullet in his freaking gut?

dn: it's a disappointing turn

dn: another disappointing turn

floyd: Tony Soprano barely survived a gut shot from a Midnight Special

floyd: this kid, in a sane world, wouldn't stand a chance

floyd: but this isn't a sane world, is it Dan?

dn: it sure isn't

floyd: in a world where 1% of the population controls 50% of its wealth?

dn: until next week?

floyd: sure

dn: see you then

floyd: I'll work on more ways to push Occupy propaganda

floyd: later

dn: good times. bye.

Walking and Talking

Today I read about a proposed advertising tie-in that Bing proposed to the AMC zombie apocalypse series "The Walking Dead":

“We pitched them last year where maybe the characters could find a library with a generator and do a Bing search,” said Sean Carver, a marketing director at Bing, who acknowledged the scene was a stretch.

I'm surprised they didn't go through with the ad integration, because it couldn't have been any more ridiculous than what they decided to put on TV. The show doesn't make any sense!

Former blogger and friend of Tornado Slide Floyd Masterson agrees. We'll be chatting about the upcoming season 2. We plan to, anyway. It'll probably go a lot like the following email conversation we had at the end of season one, when the band of human survivors sought help from the CDC, only to find the CDC was occupied by one crazy, suicidal scientist. The CDC blew up just before the closing credits. If this isn't making any sense, then I'm correctly describing it.


Floyd, I assume with no cable, you’re not following along with The Walking Dead on AMC? The zombie apocalypse scenario is so absurd, we could chat about it for days.


I actually have cable again since I moved. HBO, too. And yes, I've been watching The Walking Dead. Certainly not a flawless show, and at times a bit annoying, but overall I enjoyed it, and found the finale oddly satisfying. I'll tune in for the next season, at least.

I've actually participated in some discussions of the show on the Phog.net message board, where we all take turns pointing out plot holes and inconsistencies. My biggest problem so far -- why can some zombies climb things? And how did these people know that zombies can smell you? I'd request some empirical evidence before covering myself in zombie innards.


Phog.net: America’s premier source for The Walking Dead plotholes.

This is definitely the worst show that I continue to watch. I guess it’s 6-episode season really worked in its favor, because any more of this nonsense and I’d probably quit, Lost-style.

It’s easy to say “Yeah, there are a few plotholes, but there are zombies and guns, so…” But these plotholes are really big! Like, if you and I decided to write a show I’d expect these sort of script problems, but this is made by professionals! And they even had graphic novels to read first, and discover potential problems, and correct them!

Building on the point you make about how zombies detect non-zombies – this was a fact that the survivors seemed to agree on, as if this became common knowledge in the days since the outbreak began. So it would seem that the zombie takeover was not instantaneous, a fact supported by all the military chesspieces we see moved around the greater Atlanta area. Then, in the finale episode, the survivors seem SHOCKED by Dr. Jenner’s admission that zombies are on every continent, and that they are causing real problems everywhere, and there may be little hope.

Remember the guy they handcuffed to the roof in the hot Atlanta sun? (On the day before someone at the campsite was complaining about the cold night, and wanted to build a bigger fire? UGH!) They chained the stairwell shut so he wouldn’t get eaten. So after he manages to escape the handcuffs, he’s still trapped on the roof, right? No. He walks 20 yards to some other roof access door thing. That the zombies never discovered? UGH!


I actually read the first graphic novel a few months ago, just to see if it lived up to the hype. I was underwhelmed by the writing and dialogue, which seemed like a zombie story written by somebody who wasn't at all familiar with the genre. It was so derivative and yet not at all a Tarantino-esque homage that I found myself a bit confused by its existence. It make elementary mistakes, like some of the stuff you've noticed. In fact, perhaps it's because I've actually found the show to be an improvement from the graphic novel that I'm not more disappointed with the plot holes and irrational behavior of some of the characters.

Have you read World War Z? That's some quality, well-thought-out zombie fiction.

I still think my biggest problem with the show so far was when the zombie was hitting the window with a rock, and then when the one was able to climb over the fence. And the show needs a goddam anti-hero, someone to cut through all the emotional BS and make some real, rational decisions on how to proceed. Wannabe rapist Shane isn't cutting it.

Don't compare the show to Lost yet. Let's let Walking Dead fans start treating it like the most clever thing ever and a freaking religion before we compare it to the cultish atrocity that was Lost.


Videogum just posted its finale recap, and I remembered a few more horrible points:

1.> Jenner decided to get drunk after his experiment was ruining, and kill himself the next day. Then the gang showed up, so we think, “Oh now he has new hope, he won’t kill himself.” Then we learn that he knew they were going to run out of power in 24 hours anyway, causing the building to explode. He was going to kill himself, like, a half-day before being incinerated?

2.> Blood tests! As Gabe puts it: “someone asked him what the point was since anyone who was infected would be running a fever anyway, and he said that he’d already “broken every rule in the book just letting you in here.” Haha. Relax. Pretty sure that book is OUT OF DATE and that no one will be printing an updated, more relevant edition.”