The author of the online comic Toothpaste For Dinner has a new website, Worst Things For Sale. After reading this post, I noticed an Amazon review for
the product that said “...it does come in handy while driving”. If I
see someone using this thing on the highway I am gonna road rage them
into a ditch.
*
Rock N Roller Jack White was profiled in New York Times Magazine. “This
generation is so dead,” he said at one point. “You ask a kid, ‘What are
you doing this Saturday?’ and they’ll be playing video games or
watching cable, instead of building model cars or airplanes or doing
something creative. Kids today never say, ‘Man, I’m really into
remote-controlled steamboats.’ They never say that.” Do toymakers manufacture remote-controlled steamboats? Do they run on steam?
*
Ever wonder how they manufacture the basketball courts used during the NCAA championship tournament? USA Today had a feature about it. It
definitely makes sense to build new courts with ugly NCAA logos and
insert them in huge stadiums too big for ticket demand, where players
find it harder to shoot. That’s definitely better than simply playing in
arenas built for basketball, where courts already exist.
*
Nick and I both read this New Yorker article that shows how unhelpful brainstorming can be. The evidence has been around for half a century, and I’m just now learning this?
*
I think Bobbo passed on this article on prisons, which
addresses the same general topic of that one I shared a month or two
ago. A few similar thoughts, but some new ideas, as well.
*
Before
reading this Atlantic piece about a professional gambler’s huge
blackjack run in Atlantic City, I didn’t consider this probability
wrinkle: “Many
casinos sell laminated charts in their guest shops that reveal the
optimal strategy for any situation the game presents. But these odds are
calculated by simulating millions of hands, and as Johnson says, “I
will never see 400 million hands.”
*
Lindsey and I read all 5 of these AV Club articles where creator Paul Feig details every episode of Freaks and Geeks. That was a good show.
*
Bob Powers continues to write genius stories on an almost-daily basis. The Ice Couple Day is my recent favorite.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hungry Hungry Kiddos
I went to see The Hunger Games last night at our city’s awful multiplex, alongside my wife, who was seeing it a second time this opening weekend. It was a decent crowd but not a full house. I regretted not spending the weekend outside the theater, offering to buy alcohol at a steep upcharge for the throngs of tweens.
I have not (will not) read the books the movie was adapted from, so the following is my uninformed opinion and commentary.
I was expecting the film to be an updated version of The Running Man; in fact, I was so appalled that my wife and her friends had read this trilogy without prior knowledge of The Running Man that I forced them to screen the Netflix-sent Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle several months back. They lost interest a third of the way through and read magazines to pass the time until the credits -- your loss, ladies! Perhaps it lost their attention because it was silly, but it was also simple: In a dystopic American future, the government is corrupt, hands set-up prisoners over to the ratings-obsessed media, and the unwilling participants are forced to fight for their lives. Say what you will about the campiness of The Running Man, but I believe that film made more sense; it was easier to follow the motivations of the heroes and the villains, aside from the sexual orientation of Dynamo.
In The Hunger Games, I could tell that the director struggled to fit an entire novel into one movie. The main problem this created was my general confusion about this dystopic American future. There are 12 districts that are kept poor (and hungry!) and suppressed by a dictator, who lives in the only metropolitan area? A privileged upper class also lives in the only city? And the districts are kept in line through military force, because there was once an uprising, and as a punishment for that uprising there is a lottery every year -- “The Reaping” selects a boy and girl, ages 12-18, from each district to send to a televised deathmatch set inside The Truman Show’s production bubble.
I sort of understand the government, but not the economy. It seems most if not all of the districts are poor, but they all watch the game on television. How did they buy those televisions? Is television a private enterprise, supported by ad revenue? If so, who is buying ad space? Is there capitalism? Because it seems the only significant commerce taking place is within the only city in the nation. If the government controls the media, do they only show propaganda films during the rest of the year that the game is not taking place? Is that why the poor people have TV’s? Because the government wants everyone to watch their stuff? I’m left to guess, and my best guess is there is only one channel, and the evil government runs it.
If that’s the case, I am further confounded by how the game is created and controlled. The chosen children are giving a day or two to learn survival and weapon skills, rated by scouts for some reason, then inserted into an artificial wilderness, controlled by government/network henchmen like Ed Harris in The Truman Show. When one kid moves too far away from the others, they push them towards each other by creating a forest fire. When no one has died for a while, they insert huge attack dogs to hasten deaths.
What’s up with that? What’s the deal with this game? Do the overlords want a long, drawn-out, Survivor-like season of players fighting the elements and each other, or do they want a short, bloody battle? I can’t imagine them wanting to quickly burn off this ratings bonanza so they can get back to showing dystopic episodes of Law & Order or whatever. Plus the size of the area -- it’s no cage match, after all -- leads me to think they want a good, long game. Choosing tiny kids to compete against big kids, placing them all at the same starting point, and then constantly inserting deadly Deus Ex Machina obstacles is counterintuitive.
In addition to the confusion caused by compressing the novel into 2.5 hours of film, the distillation made it difficult to care about the young characters. I know I’m automatically supposed to be concerned when a child is slaughtered, but it turns out I am not. Almost all of the children placed in the game had a tiny amount of screen time, and died well before I could become properly attached to them. It didn’t help that the director edited the battle with shaky-camera, Paul- Greengrass-doing-Bourne-style jump cuts. C’mon, man! Let me get up close and personal with them kids, then watch them die slowly and clearly!
My final complaint is that Lenny Kravitz pops up out of nowhere in this thing, and that surprised me so much I nearly laughed out loud. Overall, I’d say the movie was fine, but could have had better exposition. I don’t know why the producers felt the need to cram so much into one quite long film, rather than divide up what is clearly a cash cow over several installments, a la Kill Bill or the final Harry Potter book/movies.
I have not (will not) read the books the movie was adapted from, so the following is my uninformed opinion and commentary.
I was expecting the film to be an updated version of The Running Man; in fact, I was so appalled that my wife and her friends had read this trilogy without prior knowledge of The Running Man that I forced them to screen the Netflix-sent Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle several months back. They lost interest a third of the way through and read magazines to pass the time until the credits -- your loss, ladies! Perhaps it lost their attention because it was silly, but it was also simple: In a dystopic American future, the government is corrupt, hands set-up prisoners over to the ratings-obsessed media, and the unwilling participants are forced to fight for their lives. Say what you will about the campiness of The Running Man, but I believe that film made more sense; it was easier to follow the motivations of the heroes and the villains, aside from the sexual orientation of Dynamo.
In The Hunger Games, I could tell that the director struggled to fit an entire novel into one movie. The main problem this created was my general confusion about this dystopic American future. There are 12 districts that are kept poor (and hungry!) and suppressed by a dictator, who lives in the only metropolitan area? A privileged upper class also lives in the only city? And the districts are kept in line through military force, because there was once an uprising, and as a punishment for that uprising there is a lottery every year -- “The Reaping” selects a boy and girl, ages 12-18, from each district to send to a televised deathmatch set inside The Truman Show’s production bubble.
I sort of understand the government, but not the economy. It seems most if not all of the districts are poor, but they all watch the game on television. How did they buy those televisions? Is television a private enterprise, supported by ad revenue? If so, who is buying ad space? Is there capitalism? Because it seems the only significant commerce taking place is within the only city in the nation. If the government controls the media, do they only show propaganda films during the rest of the year that the game is not taking place? Is that why the poor people have TV’s? Because the government wants everyone to watch their stuff? I’m left to guess, and my best guess is there is only one channel, and the evil government runs it.
If that’s the case, I am further confounded by how the game is created and controlled. The chosen children are giving a day or two to learn survival and weapon skills, rated by scouts for some reason, then inserted into an artificial wilderness, controlled by government/network henchmen like Ed Harris in The Truman Show. When one kid moves too far away from the others, they push them towards each other by creating a forest fire. When no one has died for a while, they insert huge attack dogs to hasten deaths.
What’s up with that? What’s the deal with this game? Do the overlords want a long, drawn-out, Survivor-like season of players fighting the elements and each other, or do they want a short, bloody battle? I can’t imagine them wanting to quickly burn off this ratings bonanza so they can get back to showing dystopic episodes of Law & Order or whatever. Plus the size of the area -- it’s no cage match, after all -- leads me to think they want a good, long game. Choosing tiny kids to compete against big kids, placing them all at the same starting point, and then constantly inserting deadly Deus Ex Machina obstacles is counterintuitive.
In addition to the confusion caused by compressing the novel into 2.5 hours of film, the distillation made it difficult to care about the young characters. I know I’m automatically supposed to be concerned when a child is slaughtered, but it turns out I am not. Almost all of the children placed in the game had a tiny amount of screen time, and died well before I could become properly attached to them. It didn’t help that the director edited the battle with shaky-camera, Paul- Greengrass-doing-Bourne-style jump cuts. C’mon, man! Let me get up close and personal with them kids, then watch them die slowly and clearly!
My final complaint is that Lenny Kravitz pops up out of nowhere in this thing, and that surprised me so much I nearly laughed out loud. Overall, I’d say the movie was fine, but could have had better exposition. I don’t know why the producers felt the need to cram so much into one quite long film, rather than divide up what is clearly a cash cow over several installments, a la Kill Bill or the final Harry Potter book/movies.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Cube Lube
One fun thing about being near the HIV prevention staff is hearing one of them say, "Oh good, we got more condoms and lube" upon peeking into a nearby cubicle.
And then you have an 8:00 a.m. debate about the sensual lubricant marketers' need to describe their product is "Super long-lasting" -- as if "super" can really describe time.
And then you have an 8:00 a.m. debate about the sensual lubricant marketers' need to describe their product is "Super long-lasting" -- as if "super" can really describe time.
Great Scots
Thoroughly enjoyed damaging my ears Tuesday night in Westport, courtesy of We Were Promised Jetpacks.
During a rare silent moment between songs, a crowd member to my right shouted, "What happened in the attic?", a reference to the oft-repeated lyric "Something happened in the attic" from their song "This is My House, This is My Home". The lead singer didn't look up and immediately shouted "Shut the fuck up!" before launching into the next song. Well played, you glorious Scotsmen.
During a rare silent moment between songs, a crowd member to my right shouted, "What happened in the attic?", a reference to the oft-repeated lyric "Something happened in the attic" from their song "This is My House, This is My Home". The lead singer didn't look up and immediately shouted "Shut the fuck up!" before launching into the next song. Well played, you glorious Scotsmen.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Liveblog Madness 23
iPhone Siri commercial just aired for the four billionth time. You know, the one where the couple drive from New York City (get a rope) to California? And they ask Siri so many things, including, "What does Orion look like?"
ORION? The constellation that EVERYONE knows? I would argue it is even easier to find than the other constellation even children can pinpoint, the Big Dipper.
I switched away from Iowa State/UConn to see why Colorado was leading UNLV, and now I see UConn is only down 6 with 7 minutes left. Hubris, Cyclones! You should have watched Moby Dick or Jaws last night to get in the right mindset instead of Rudy or Chariots of Fire or whatever.
Sometimes I look at Colorado and think, "Hey, it's that hippie college from the Big XII North that's pretty harmless! Go those guys!" before remembering they are in another conference now, still suck, and still pick fights with cops.
ORION? The constellation that EVERYONE knows? I would argue it is even easier to find than the other constellation even children can pinpoint, the Big Dipper.
I switched away from Iowa State/UConn to see why Colorado was leading UNLV, and now I see UConn is only down 6 with 7 minutes left. Hubris, Cyclones! You should have watched Moby Dick or Jaws last night to get in the right mindset instead of Rudy or Chariots of Fire or whatever.
Sometimes I look at Colorado and think, "Hey, it's that hippie college from the Big XII North that's pretty harmless! Go those guys!" before remembering they are in another conference now, still suck, and still pick fights with cops.
Liveblog Madness 22
There are some reeeeeeeeeeeaal stinkers on right now. Kudos to the NCAA for scheduling this junk late, so there's no chance I'll be too excited to sleep.
Ohio State is playing Loyola Maryland, and they showed Jared Sullinger's major earlier. It's "Exploration". I assume this is a fancy and proper way of saying he is currently undecided on his major and exploring all subjects as options, but I prefer to think he is taking 700 level courses about Amerigo Vespucci, Marco Polo, Ferdinand Magellan, and River Phoenix.
Iowa State jumped out to a huge lead on UConn, and they are currently up 12 early in the 2nd half and waaaaay too overconfident.
Indiana is in control against something called New Mexico State.
Ohio State is playing Loyola Maryland, and they showed Jared Sullinger's major earlier. It's "Exploration". I assume this is a fancy and proper way of saying he is currently undecided on his major and exploring all subjects as options, but I prefer to think he is taking 700 level courses about Amerigo Vespucci, Marco Polo, Ferdinand Magellan, and River Phoenix.
Iowa State jumped out to a huge lead on UConn, and they are currently up 12 early in the 2nd half and waaaaay too overconfident.
Indiana is in control against something called New Mexico State.
Liveblog Madness 21
Bing bong, WSU loses. I have no idea what was going on in the second half. WSU made a run to get within 8 or so, so VCU stopped pressing entirely, and switched to man-to-man although I think they were playing zone in the first half. So they essentially stopped doing the things that led to their large lead, allowing WSU to come all the way back. The Shockers failed to make a few tough shots -- Murry missed three close floaters in a row, I think -- and Stutz really Stutz'd a gimme at the rim. Make one or two of those and the wide open corner 3 that put VCU ahead for good doesn't sting so much. Oh well. At least Wichita still has Boeing. Er, I mean Cabela's?
ROYCE WHITE OPENS THE GAME WITH A FULL COURT DASH AND SLAMMA JAMMA. You have to love a 6-8 forward handling it full court. UConn's Jeremy Lamb has the longest arms ever on human - he looks like a baby sloth.
Jackrabbits making a run against Baylor. I guess I'll focus on that for the moment. That and this coconut cream pie.
If you're wondering how long it took me to memorize the TruTV broadcast channel, the answer is 9.5 hours.
ROYCE WHITE OPENS THE GAME WITH A FULL COURT DASH AND SLAMMA JAMMA. You have to love a 6-8 forward handling it full court. UConn's Jeremy Lamb has the longest arms ever on human - he looks like a baby sloth.
Jackrabbits making a run against Baylor. I guess I'll focus on that for the moment. That and this coconut cream pie.
If you're wondering how long it took me to memorize the TruTV broadcast channel, the answer is 9.5 hours.
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