Jihad Me At Hello

I've got a question for the gentlemen arrested for plotting an attack on Fort Dix:

How retarded are you?

It's clear that there's some degree of retardation at work; in fact, your retardedness is probably off the scale. To wit...

The case began to take shape in January 2006, when an employee of a store told the FBI someone had brought a "disturbing" video to be duplicated, Christie said.

The video "depicted 10 young men who appeared to be in their early 20s shooting assault weapons at a firing range in a militia-like style while calling for jihad and shouting in Arabic 'Allah Akbar,' " (Arabic for "God is Great"), according to an FBI affidavit filed with the criminal complaints.

News flash, tards: it's all digital these days. Rather than take your suspicious video to a retail outlet, how about making additional copies yourself, on a personal computer? It might have saved you some trouble -- and by "trouble", I mean "FBI informants infiltrating your group".

And your plan. Jesus, your plan...

One quote from [an informant's] alleged recordings was defendant Mohamad Ibrahim Shnewer saying, "My intent is to hit a heavy concentration of soldiers. ... This is exactly what we are looking for. You hit four, five or six Humvees and light the whole place [up] and retreat completely without any losses."

Wow. Jesus. Have you guys ever even WATCHED a movie? Like, in The Matrix, when Keanu and that broad equip themselves with 1,000 guns each and storm that building where Morpheus is being held -- did you see how fucking hard that was to do? It was really, really hard! And those guys could fly and run up walls and shit! Can you fly? No? I thought so.

Did you see Goldfinger? James Bond pretty much rapes Pussy Galore in a barn... but that's not really my point. My point is that Auric Goldfinger plots to rob Fort Knox. I'm just ballparking it here, but Goldfinger's plan was roughly 40 billion times better than yours. My man Auric worked out an aerial gas attack to render the Knox's soldiers unconscious! A little more efficient than your "shoot at some Humvees" approach, no?

See, kids, there's a reason why nutjobs have been launching attacks in public places: subways, schools, and the like -- it's a little easier to accomplish, compared to bum-rushing the home of trained soldiers. It's too bad you got caught prematurely, or you could have learned that lesson on your own. That is, if you're capable of learning anything at all, retards.