The Third Noel

Shady Beach Campground. Noel, Missouri. Memorial Day weekend, in pictures.

Here's Shawn, relaxing at the campsite, utilizing the ever-popular neckband beer koozies sold at the campground's little shop.


And here's our man Nathan, sporting a mighty horseshoe mustache. If you ask Nathan why he's chosen such facial hair, he will launch into an inspiring tale. "Who do you always see wearing this kind of mustache?" Nathan will ask. "Child molesters. Mass murderers. Perverts have stolen this mustache as their own, but I'm taking it back for the common man." So, it bears repeating: Nathan does not molest children. Oh, and those are legit Zubaz pants. Go Chiefs!


You might recall that last year was my second time on the Elk River, and I chose to wear a rice farmer's hat while canoing, absorbing 31 racial slurs along the ride. This year, I brought the hat with me, but neglected to put it on before pushing off. (It was very cloudy, which made it very easy to forget.) Here's proof that I do own such a hat, and that it did travel with me to the campsite.


Brian and Jeremy's canoe had a hole in it, but they made the best of it.


Floyd once again piloted my canoe from the rear. He wore a bandana this year over his long, stupid hippie hair.

His outfit prompted comment from a thirtysomething gentlemen, who was standing alone in chest deep water as we floated near him. "Hey, Axl Rose! What are you doing down here?" the man asked. Floyd chuckled. I chuckled. The man looked off in the distance as we continued downstream. Moments later, his voice roared as he shouted to no one in particular, "IMMIGRANTS AND FAGGOTS, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" Floyd and I had to wait 30 seconds, pretending nothing happened, until we were out of his earshot, before we could laugh, shake our heads, and thank God that I was hatless.