Thursday, April 10, 2008

Product Update

Tonight I saw a commercial for Quizno's new Maine lobster sandwich. You can also get it as a salad. Or you can just kill yourself and get it over with.
UPDATE 4/11
I've searched Google, and can't find much evidence of the Quizno's Maine lobster salad/sandwich. The only article I see is one that mentions the company is testing it; I can only assume that Kansas City is one of the markets that this monstrosity is being tested, because Kim and I saw the commercial for it again tonight. I was 10 feet away from the TV screen, but I'm confident there was a disclaimer that read "51% lobster". Needless to say, it is another harrowing night for my stomach.
Moving on to more valuable, less disgusting products, I'm sure you recall my summer 2005 post about my laptop's defunct hard drive. Electing to save money, I patched it together and made the best of things. Last week, counting down the full 60 seconds it required for my machine to detect and open a USB flash drive's folder, I cracked. A new laptop is on its way. Let's compare the hardware specifications.

2001 MODEL INSPIRON (purchased for $2200)

14.1" screen
Removable floppy drive
24x read-only CD drive
2 USB 1.1 ports
10 GB hard drive
32 MB video card
128 MB memory
850 MHz Pentium 3 processor

2008 MODEL INSPIRON (purchased for $1300)

17" widescreen
absolutely no floppy drive
DVD/CD drive that can actually burn discs
5 USB 2.0 ports
320 GB hard drive
128 MB video card
3 GB memory
2.0GHz, 667Mhz Intel Core 2 Duo processor
built-in wireless so I don't have to use a PC card like a chump

Finally finally finally.

8 comments:

Floyd said...

I don't know, Dan - is 320 GBs going to be enough?

Dougal said...

Excellent, just don't kid yourself that the dvd drive will actually burn more than 5 discs before going the way of all laptop drives...!

Dougal said...

Oh, and you lucky sod, the same in england would be about £1300 rather than the £800 odd you're getting it for.

I live in the wrong country...

Anonymous said...

When Phil, Shawn and I worked at Subway we got numerous calls regarding people getting sick from eating the seafood salad sandwich. That Quizno's Maine Lobster sandwich is just asking for a breakout of salmonella enteritidis.

Pat

dn said...

@Floyd: that was actually the smallest option I could go with. It's absurd

@Dougal: Yeah, my old laptop's CD drive crapped out a while back. I just went with the cheapest option I could. Oh, and if you want to bitch about the exchange rate of dollars to pounds, you won't find much sympathy around here. Do you think I went to South America because the dollar is so awesome? With the way our economy is going, I won't make it to Europe until I can teleport there.

@Pat: Wasn't the Subway seafood completely fake? Was it soy or something?

Nicolas Frisby said...

Attaboy. 3 GB of memory? Wierd.

Gav said...

Really, no body is going to make a comment about the download speed for your porn with your new Intel Core 2 Duo processor? Where's Matt at? Sean?

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what it was made of. I do know that one of the so called 'sandwich artists' (Shawn! kidding) let it sit on the counter for a few hours before serving it one hot July 4th. I think that's where most of the calls regarding food poisoning stemmed from.

Pat