Monday, July 28, 2008

Garbage Bowl Kids

I know a lot of people hate Rachael Ray. She's too perky, her recipes seem to be inspired by the back of a soup can, she invents sickening "words" like "yummo" and "sammies", she is staring a line of dog food based on recipes she has created for her pit bull, Isaboo, and so forth. I'm not her biggest fan, but I've never held a real hatred for her. Not until I saw this at Amazon:

Okay, okay, maybe "hate" is too strong of an emotion for a cheerful capitalist like Mrs. Ray. I still don't hate her -- not when i can focus my rage on the Amazon customers that buy this shit.

5.0 out of 5 stars

Not......just a "Garbage" Bowl

It is not....just a "garbage" bowl but rather a real time-saver! It saves you steps in the kitchen and is large and deep enough to catch all your prep scraps. It is great in the garden to bring in herbs / tomatoes / stringbeans, etc. and big enough to marinate cutlets in and tranport them to the grill. Attractive enough for the counter top which makes it the "go-to" when you want to grab something quickly.

--K. S. Verno (Eastchester, NY)
Wrong. It IS just a bowl. I'm going to slit your throat. With my knife. It's the "go-to" when I want to slit throats.

5.0 out of 5 stars

Sounds Goofy, But It Works!

I have watched Rachael Ray on 30-Minute Meals for years and am very familiar with her "garbage bowl." I, like so many others, thought okay, this is clever and cute, but I did not try it. Eventually, I started using whatever bowl was handy. I kept seeing the "Authentic Rachael Ray Garbage Bowl" in various stores, and I found myself drawn to it as if I were in its magnetic field. Tempted as I was, I resisted.

Shortly after Christmas, however, I bought the orange bowl on a lark. Though it was not the red accent color in my kitchen, I used it anyway. I loved it! This bowl is the perfect size, shape, and weight into which you can toss your vegetable trimmings, cans, and whatever else comprises your garbage. When it is full, voila, one dump into the trash can, and you're done! No muss; no fuss.

One day, while cruising around the Amazon site, I found the other colors and bought them all. This particular one, the marble, is my absolute favorite. I find myself reaching for that one repeatedly.

If you're wondering whether or not to invest the money in something called a "garbage bowl," do yourself a favor - just do it!

--Diane Rocha (San Diego, CA USA)
I'm no physicist, but I'm pretty sure these absurd bowls do not have a magnetic field. And I'm also pretty sure that buying ALL the garbage bowl varieties makes you San Diego's biggest bitch. You're next.

5.0 out of 5 stars

So much more than a "Garbage" bowl

I now own three of these bowls in various colors. They are great for hand mixing, serving, as well as Rachael's "toss the garbage in them" functionality. They are perfect for serving chips or crackers on a buffet. By the way, they are not too light or too heavy and they stack really well. A simple hand washing and they are ready to go!

--Barbara - EPP (Tallahassee, FL)
Congrats, Barbara! You spent $45 for three bowls. I'm going to spend a chunk more than that to bring a family of orphans over from Darfur. I'm going to drop them off at your place in Tallahassee, and they are going to beat you to death. The last thing you will see before losing consciousness is me, callously shattering your goddamn garbage bowls. Also, the orphans are going to eat you.

5.0 out of 5 stars


I have been an amazon customer for years, and this is the first review I have written. I just had to! This garbage bowl saves major time while cooking or baking. I have it perched on my counter at all times. My big garbage is underneath my sink. Now I don't have to open the cabinet everytime I throw something out, which you do a lot of when you cook and bake. I also bring it to the table after a meal to throw away the scraps, which is also another time saver. Sure, you could use any old bowl to do this, but I am glad that I got this one. It is always out and in use in the kitchen, so I am glad that it is pretty!

--J. Bonczkiewicz (NJ)
Hey! You Jersey fuck! I've also solved the problem presented by a garbage can hidden behind a sink cabinet door: I MOVED MY FUCKING TRASH CAN. I haven't figured out the mechanism of transmission yet, but rest assured -- you will die of superAIDS.

1.0 out of 5 stars

A ridiculous waste

Save your money. Go to good will and get a bowl for fifty cents.

I cannot believe this even exists.

--Stephanie Johnson


Floyd said...

You know, I recently had a conversation with a lady friend who just landed her first real job. She was talking about how nice it was to be able to afford nice stuff around the house, like matching furniture and nice (expensive) silverware. I laughed and started giving her crap about the idea of spending money on "nice" silverware when my Goodwill-purchased forks, knives and spoons work just fine for transporting food from my plate into my mouth. She got really mad at me, saying I "didn't get it" and that I was a jerk for "judging" her for wanting to spend money on silverware.

I fucking hate stupid consumerism. A fork is a fork is a fucking fork, and I'm not an asshole for thinking that spending more than 50 cents on a fork is stupid.

casey elizabeth said...

God bless America.

dn said...

I'd much rather see someone purchase matching furniture than pay $15 for a bucket to throw apple cores into. That's like shitting on a golden toilet.

Floyd said...

I don't have a problem with nice furniture. There's a difference between a nice sofa (see Dan's sofa) and a shitty sofa (see my sofa). But there's not a difference between a nice fork and a "shitty" fork, just like there's not a difference between a $15 Rachel Ray "garbage" bowl and an old ice cream tub.