Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Ok. Huh. Where to start here...

I understand the hometown paper needed to fill space in its entertainment section. The university's not in session, and there isn't much going on, so I completely understand why the editor would be grasping for any news he or she could find. No big surprise the paper ran the story.

But where do you hear about twins that (*sigh*) graduated from (*sigh*) the American Boychoir School? (Does that school's name remind anyone else of Motherboy?) All signs point to the twins' mother.

MOTHER: You kids! I'm so proud of you kids!

TWINS: Thanks Mommy.

MOTHER: I'm calling the newspaper! The whole town should know about you two!

TWINS: Okay Mommy.

MOTHER: Everybody's going to be so impressed! We'll get them to take a publicity photo, and you'll be the most popular kids in junior high next year!

TWINS: Are you sure, Mommy? Are you sure the kids -- and the whole town, I guess -- won't see us captured in our most awkward years, dismiss us as geeks, and administer a beating or two?

MOTHER: Oh, heavens no! Your Mommy knows what's "cool" these days! When you go to the photo shoot, just make sure you both wear the high-tech digital watches I gave you for Christmas -- that'll show 'em all that you're no "squares"!

TWINS: Okay Mommy.

MOTHER: It's weird that you two both say the same sentences at the same time.

TWINS: Yeah. I guess it was easier than breaking us up into Twin #1 and Twin #2, or assigning us arbitrary names, or whatever.


Sorry, twins. This probably wasn't your fault. The bright side is that you'll look back on this and laugh one day. "One day" being a day no sooner than 30 years in the future, after you've locked your mother in a 60 Minutes nursing home.

Yep, soon you'll look back on this strange experience like your very own Motherboy.

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