This reads like an Onion article:
Singer Phil Collins finds new passion in the Alamo
SAN ANTONIO - Singer Phil Collins says his new "main thing" is the Alamo.
Collins, who said he has "hundreds" of cannonballs, documents and other artifacts from the Alamo, is in San Antonio this week in conjunction with the anniversary of the March 1836 battle of the Alamo.
The collector and history buff's most prized item is a receipt signed by Alamo commander William Barret Travis for 32 head of cattle used to feed the Alamo defenders.
"Basically, now I've stopped being Phil Collins the singer. This has become what I do," he said in an online story Tuesday for the San Antonio Express-News.
His interest began in his youth when he saw actor Fess Parker portray Davy Crockett.
The 58-year-old singer, whose hits include "In the Air Tonight" and "One More Night," said he has passed on his appreciation for the Alamo lore to his five children, especially his youngest sons, ages 4 and 7.
"My youngest two, they can identify Travis, Crockett and Santa Anna when they see their pictures," he said.
Collins narrated the introduction of a 13-minute "Alamo diorama light and sound show" at the History Shop by the Alamo.
He is scheduled to speak to the Alamo Defenders Descendants Association on Saturday.
if he does have hundreds of cannonballs, etc., do you think he keeps them all in one room or building? how weird would it be to be hanging out at phil collins' house, get lost looking for the bathroom, and walk into a room filled with cannonballs from the Alamo?
I’d really like to know how you can authenticate hundreds of 1836 cannonballs. (Hundreds? What the hell? You grab a handful, okay, cool – but hundreds? Is he trying to get the complete set or something? Somebody should tell him these aren’t 1989 Upper Deck cards.) I think there’s a blacksmith out there who’s made a killing off Collins. “Uh, yeah! I located another mysterious collector, and he’s got 30 more cannonballs to sell you, Phil!”
If you had one or two cannonballs, you could put them in a little glass box, like a signed baseball, and display them in a room with the rest of your Alamo crap. Hundreds, though? And you’re probably keeping them inside, not in a pile on the lawn next to your vintage cannon? Man, I don’t know what you do with them. They must be stacked in little pyramids all over his complex.
To be honest, what I would really like to see happen is someone create a theatrical production of the Alamo battle set to the music of Phil Collins/Genesis. You can't tell me that "In the Air Tonight" wouldn't fit perfectly as everyone prepares for the battle the night before. That song killed on the pilot episode of Miami Vice, and would do so here as well.
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I have buried the joyous leads here. First, when boiled down to their essence, Genesis (and Phil Collins) will be remembered for three things: a scene from Miami Vice, the Land of Confusion video, and stealing Aimee Mann's Oscar by writing the monkey love theme from Disney's animated Tarzan.
Second, I fully support his obsession with the Alamo, because it means PHIL COLLINS HAS STOPPED SINGING! He said it himself! Awesome. This almost makes up for hearing Another Day in Paradise a billion times.