2010 Recap - Music And Lyrics

I know you're on pins and needles, not having written this recap for soooooo long post-2010...

Here's what I bought in 2010 that was released in 2010, from most enjoyed to still enjoyed but kinda wanted more from:

Spoon - Transference
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
The New Pornographers - Together
Menomena - Mines
Broken Bells - s/t

Here's what else I bought - some 2009 catch-up purchases and some older material - which is all pretty much great:

We Were Promised Jetpacks - These Four Walls
Telekinesis - s/t
The Xx - s/t
M Ward - pretty much everything he's recorded
The Stone Roses - s/t
Neil Diamond - various hits

I also bought a few singles here and there, maybe a used CD. In total, I spent about $100. Good story? Good story.

Last year I did a real bang-up job on my lyric awards, and I fear the 2010 recap is less stunning. Case in point, I don't have a selection for "Best Metaphor". Pathetic! That's a great category! Please enlighten me in the comments. Moving on...

Best Simile

Arcade Fire - "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)"

Dead shopping malls rise like mountains beyond mountains


Soul Asylum Funeral/Urinal Memorial Award: Best Half-Rhyming Couplet

Menomena - "Queen Black Acid"

You're 5-foot-5, not a hundred pounds
I'm scared to death of every single ounce

Stars - "We Don't Want Your Body"

Your soul is searching ecstasy
So you can have some sex with me

Most Unlikely Adjective

The New Pornographers - "Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk"

That would feel byzantine

Most Nonsensical Lyric

Quasi - "Repulsion"

Wee Willy Winky run to the town
They can't keep it up he just lays it down
The moon took a piss behind a tree
I still made it back by a quarter to three


Most Nonsensical Lyric, But You Can Kinda See Where He's Going With This

The Long Winters - "Not Moving to Portland"

All your bicycles are dreaming of their brakes


Worst Flow

Snoop Dogg, as featured in Katy Perry's "California Gurls"

Bikinis, zucchini, martinis, no weenies, just the kingie and Queenie


Most Overwrought

Arcade Fire - "We Used to Wait"

It seems strange
How we used to wait for letters to arrive
But what's stranger still
Is how something so small can keep you alive

You know, I don't mean to shit on Arcade Fire too much, but this song irks me. As someone who used to take a pen and take lined paper and sit down and write overwrought letters to girls about issues that probably did not deserve such a time commitment, I feel quite qualified to say that waiting for a response did not make me feel alive. It made me feel like the mail is a stupid slow goddamned asshole WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG WHY DID I WRITE A LETTER GOD SHE'LL HAVE TO GO BUY A STAMP AND SHIT ARRRRGH. I mean, sure, hand-writing letters was sort of neat, but I promise you I switched to writing overwrought emails as soon as that option was possible, and I've been grateful for that migration ever since. Anywayyyyyy, I know this song isn't just about writing versus typing, but those few lines really got my goat. The keyboard riff ain't all that great, either.

Now, to ease us into the comments, here's Alipete and I exchanging more lyric thoughts (Alipete's text is in pink):

So, I did not do a good job of tracking lyrics this year. I'll try to think of others, but as of now, this is all I have to offer:

Arcade Fire, "Rococo"

Let's go downtown and watch the modern kids
Let's go downtown and talk to the modern kids
They will eat right out of your hand
Using great big words that they don't understand


I enthusiastically second your "Sprawl II" choice. My favorite lyrics from one of my favorite songs of the year. So, so good. Two from Stars (and agreed on the "We Don't Want Your Body" pick):

"Dead Hearts"

They were kids that I once knew
They were kids that I once knew
Now they're all dead hearts to you
Now they're all dead hearts to you

-- I've tried to figure out what this song means, but in the end, do I really care? The answer is no.

"How Much More"

My hands are tied
Because I won't say goodbye
I tried
I told you I was brave but I lied

-- It looks kind of lame on paper, but the way she sings it makes it fantastic. So probably just listen. Over and over.

Also, since you played the Katy Perry card, I'd be remiss if I didn't include this incredible nonsensical rhyming "Family Matters" reference from that great bard Kanye West on "Dark Fantasy":

The plan was to drink until the pain over
But what’s worse, the pain or the hangover?
Fresh air, rolling down the window
Too many Urkels on your team, that’s why your wins low

-- Brilliant

I also like AF’s “Ready to Start”: if the businessman drinks my blood / like the kids in art school said they would. Kinda weird how Arcade Fire is going to have my most favorite (Sprawl II) and least favorite (We Used to Wait). I want to meet Win Butler and ask him to calm down. I think he needs to take a long weekend – hang out on a beach with Beck and hope some of his nonsense rubs off.

When you meet Win Butler, please ask him to do something about his hair. I enjoy his music so, but he is real hard to look at sometimes. There I said it.


What do you think? A buzz cut? He might be too skinny for that. Maybe he could get it styled like the My Chemical Romance guy.


No, I do not wish that upon Win Butler. He might be beyond help, honestly. He should just go to a barber and ask for "something normal."

An Idiot Asleep

Last night I dreamed I met Karl Pilkington out at a bar, where he was playing in a 3-piece band. He played the keyboard. The band claimed one song was the theme to "The Dukes of Hazzard", but it sounded nothing like the Waylon Jennings classic.

We've seen season one of HBO's "The Ricky Gervais Show", but what's really put Karl on my mind is "An Idiot Abroad", which is currently airing on The Science Channel for some reason. (And, thank God, it's also available on demand.)

"An Idiot Abroad" is the best travel show ever because it's the most honest. We are not all Anthony Bourdain or the Bizzare Foods guy - some of us don't need to see a lion in the wild if it means being exposed to malaria, and some of us don't want to see the Taj Mahal if it means squatting in sub-outhouse quality restrooms. Karl's show doesn't make you feel guilty for your lack of interest or your middling sense of adventure.

Last Week In Texts

The following were sent and received Friday, January 28.

* * *

[Note - Matt traveled to Egypt last year.]

dn: I guess you picked the right time to go to Egypt.
Matt: It seems the seeds I planted are starting to grow.
dn: The seeds of discontent? Or your semen?
Matt: Yes.

* * *

Shawn: At Arby's, I just listened to a dad explain to his three children that he is going to jail for a year, and that he wanted this to be a great day to remember while he's away. Touching.

2010 Recap - Motion Pictures - Non-Prestige Films

2010 films not designed to win Oscars, from best to worst:

Scott Pilgrim vs The World*
The first movie since, uh... Good Will Hunting?... that I saw twice in the theater. I've watched it again on DVD, and listened to two of the feature commentaries. Not only am I not sick of it yet, I still get all tingly watching The Clash At Demonhead scene, the Amp vs Amp battle, and the ending. My favorite movie of the year.

Memorable Quote: "I gotta pee on her!... I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time."


MacGruber*
If you didn't enjoy yourself while watching MacGruber, you're watching movies wrong. The scene where MacGruber explains the origin of his rivalry with Dieter Von Cunth was the hardest I laughed all year.

Memorable Quote: "The only record I'm gonna break is the "amount of your own dick in your mouth" record."


Youth in Revolt
Pretty good! Just a nice little coming-of-age romp. Excellent use of The Fruit Bats "When U Love Somebody" weaved into the final act.

Memorable Quote: "I do all of my hiking free form. Like John Muir, I enter the wilderness with nothing more than my journal and a child-like sense of wonder."


Hot Tub Time Machine
I found this highly enjoyable, but I will grant that the lowered expectations that accompany DVD viewings may play a factor. If you paid full price to see Crispin Glover lose a hand, you might rank it differently. Or maybe you just have to be a fan of Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home" to dig it.

Memorable Quote: "Here's a question. Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question. Do I give a fuck?"


Kick-Ass*
Finally, a movie Nicolas Cage didn't ruin. Not the best superhero movie, but Hit Girl pushed it to an acceptable level.

Memorable Quote: I guess it was memorable when Hit Girl used the "C" word, but not really because I'd forgotten until I just looked up the IMDB quotes.


Date Night
Good enough for a date movie targeted to parents.

Memorable Quote: nah


The Town
Kind of dumb? But this movie proves that if you throw at least three heists into an otherwise cliched plot (with a strange romantic angle in there, too), you can still get a passing grade from the audience.

Memorable Quote: all the ones with those thick Boston accents. They talk different from you and me!


Get Him to the Greek
This was a comedy that made me smile several times, but no big laughs.

Memorable Quote: probably something Nick Kroll said to Diddy


Dinner for Schmucks*
I'm not a big Flight of the Conchords fan, but Jemaine Clement was easily the funniest part of this movie. Unfortunately, he's only in a few scenes.

Memorable Quote: nope

Predators
This movie definitely featured humans shooting at predators with huge guns (and in the Yakuza's case, stylish but comically useless small guns). In my book, that counts for something.

Memorable Quote: (bang bang bang bang pew pew bang bang bang)


Iron Man 2
Snore. Big time.

Memorable Quote: the one where Robert Downey Jr said something wry instead of flying around and punching stuff.


*Denotes theater viewing. Expectations that come with a full-price, pound-me-in-the-ass ticket prices almost certainly influence the rankings assigned.

2010 Recap - Motion Pictures - Prestige Films

The Hollywood Foreign Press and I agree that it doesn't make sense to compare heavy dramas to silly comedies, so I've divided my usual review of the year in film into two parts. Today I'll discuss the 2010 "prestige" films I've seen, from best to worst:


Inception*
After the event, it's easy to poke holes in the plot and joke about the dialogue. And sure, hearing your coworkers discuss the ambiguous ending with misguided conviction subtracted from its impact. But when the van was slowly falling backwards toward the river, my attention was undivided and my mouth was agape.


Exit Through The Gift Shop
The coolest documentary ever? Far more mind-boggling than "Inception".


True Grit*
Perfectly cast, acted, and directed. Yet somehow #3 on this list.


The Social Network*
Before "Fargo" begins, a note pops up that reads "This is a true story". It's not. The Coen brothers felt that adding that note would make the plot more believable for viewers - everyone could suspend their disbelief and marvel at how the story unfolded. "The Social Network" is a good movie, but it's fiction, and my appreciation of it waned as I learned more about its inaccuracies. Great use of The Beatles in the final scene, though.


Winter's Bone
I am probably overrating this, but it was original and should be rewarded accordingly in my prestigious rankings.


Black Swan*
I spent the first twenty minutes thinking about how gross ballet can be. The tops of your toes are not meant for that, girls! Yuck. Anyway, this was okay. A bit heavy on the horror side for my liking. When that ballet director made a toast "To Beauty!" I chortled, and resolved to make all my future toasts that pretentious.


The King's Speech*
Good, but good in the same respect that last week's PBS special on Ulysses S. Grant was good. After this weekend's pre-Oscar awards, it seems Colin Firth is bound to win Best Actor, which renews the need for separate acting awards - those impersonating real people (especially mentally handicapped people) should compete amongst each other, and those playing fictional characters should be grouped together.


Shutter Island
God, this movie is so old. Who cares? If you care, read the two sentences I wrote about it in October.


The Kids Are All Right*
I've previously mentioned how much I hate this movie.

Put it this way. In "The King's Speech", there isn't a lot of dramatic tension because we know everything will end up fine for the king. But pretending the film could fall into an alternate plane of history, what would be at stake? "Oh no! I hope that Duke of the royal family will manage to get by in life with his speech impediment! Hopefully he'll manage to keep his kids fed and his horses fed and his castle estate well-kept!"

"The Kids Are All Right" has an equal amount of dramatic tension as this skewed version of "The King's Speech". Strip away the "unique" plot aspects - a sperm donor, a lesbian partnership - and what you have is an unlikeable rich white couple with near-adult children who might get divorced. The horror! Stay together, split up - who gives a fuck?


*Denotes theater viewing. Expectations that come with a full-price, pound-me-in-the-ass ticket prices almost certainly influence the rankings assigned.

That's Phrasey!

Every time I hear the word "Jamaican", I think: "Jamaican me horny!".

Urine: "Urine luck!"

2010 Recap - Printed Words

Chuck Klosterman - Eating the Dinosaur
I really loved the essay comparing Nirvana's Kurt Cobain and Branch Davidian David Koresh, even if you could make a solid argument for why it should not exist. All of Klosterman's big ideas may be incorrect (or impossible to prove), but I'll forego accuracy so long as they're fun to read.

Nick Hornby - Juliet, Naked
Parts of this book delve into interactions on internet message boards for rock bands, assuring us of how lame a modern-day reboot of "High Fidelity" would be. Not an important or groundworking novel, I'm sure, but Hornby is so easy for me to digest I wonder if I'll ever dislike his work.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamozov
I had this idea. I would ask my friends what their "most important" book was, and I'd read them, and we'd talk about how it affected each of us. Adrienne ruined the whole thing, because sweet lord is Russian literature long and... long. Really long. If I wanted to finish my experiment, I would have needed to renew the library loan roughly a billion times, and taken a week off work. Instead, I decided to shut it down. I'd read one-fourth of the mammoth text.

Carson McCullers - The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
I bought this paperback for a song (the title of the song was "One American Dollar") at the semi-annual book sale at the local library. The book reminded me of "Winesburg, Ohio", even though I read that book eight years ago and only remember some scene about a man in a church looking across the street at a woman (?). If I were to describe the theme of each book, it would be: Life's a bitch and then you die. (I am not a professional literary critic.)

Saul Bellow - The Adventures of Augie March
Another book bought cheap at the book sale. Another book with no discernible story arc. Another abandoned book.

Max Brooks - World War Z
I am growing weary of the zombie craze, and I had read a bit of Brook's tedious Zombie Survival Guide, so it took a strong recommendation from friends for me to read this. It is well done -- for one thing, it establishes clear rules of what zombies can (live underwater) and cannot (climb) do -- and hopefully the movie in development will also be well done.

Chuck Klosterman - Fargo Rock City
I'm just a few years young for the sweet spot of readership, but old enough to understand and appreciate most of the context. The only bad thing about this heavy metal retrospective is you occasionally get songs like Skid Row's "Remember Yesterday" in your head for 24 hours.


Bryan Lee O'Malley - the Scott Pilgrim series


I never got into comics. Reading this series, I realized that the subject material was never a problem - I just can't enjoy the style of reading comics. Do I read the dialogue first, or look at the drawing? How carefully do I need to look a the drawing? Where do I put my eye next? I looked at the author's blog, and he'd posted examples from his work that show how it can be a confusing process for the reader.

If Edgar Wright directs every comic adaptation going forward, I see no reason to read this stuff.



Kazuo Ishiguro - Never Let Me Go
I think this is a good book? Seeing the movie might help me decide. I can't figure out if I knew the novel's "secrets" because of what I'd read in book/film reviews (the NY Times review plainly reveals the "mystery"), or because the secret isn't well-kept. Certainly, readers should avoid the Library of Congress page. God forbid I check to see what year it was written, only to see the spoiler-laden labels the LOC applied to the novel.