Worst Flow
Kanye West as featured in Jay-Z's "Run This Town"
She got a ass that a' swallow up a G-string
And up top, ugnh, two bee stings
And I'm beasting
Off the Reisling
And my nigga just made it out the precinct
You're beasting off the Reisling, eh? The fruity, flowery German wine? That's mad gangsta, Kanye.
Most Forced Rhyme
Vampire Weekend - "Horchata"
In December drinking horchata
I look psychotic in a balaclava
Andrew Bird - "Tenuousness"
From proto-Sanskrit Minoans
to porto-centric Lisboans
Greek Cypriots and harbor sots
who "hangaround", in quotes, a lot
Most Nonsensical Lyric
Fiery Furnaces - "Lost at Sea"
There was a time I was happy to know you
Because you were me
And I was you
Most Nonsensical Lyric (English as a Second Language)
Phoenix - "Lisztomania"
Do let do let do let jugulate do let do let do
Least Nonsensical Lyric Followed By Most Nonsensical Lyric
Yo La Tengo - "Periodically Double or Triple"
never read Proust
sounds a little too long
never used a hammer
without somehow using it wrong
Best Alliteration
Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - "Goodbye Good Luck"
we have sad sex
we move steady to forget
we swear upon our happening lives
Best Assonance
Tegan and Sara - "The Cure"
Oh, oh when you say it
So, so slowly to me
Oh, oh will I keep going
Oh, no I run while knowing
No, no I know you need it
So, so I need it too and
Oh, I must keep going
So you must too
Best Simile
Peter Bjorn & John - "Nothing to Worry About"
Trouble seems to follow you
It's always 'round you
Like something you subscribe to
Best Metaphor
Death Cab for Cutie - "Little Bribes"
you pretend every slot machine
is a robot amputee
waving hello
Best Backhanded Compliment
An Horse - "Camp Out"
like that good Hole album
I can "Live Through This"
I can live through us
[I was able to ask An Horse's Kate Cooper about this after their local show. I asked if she was implying that "Live Through This" was Hole's only good album. As I recall, Kate said she enjoyed "Celebrity Skin" back when it was released, but listened to it recently and found it didn't hold up, and found the production values particularly bad. She was very nice about it, and obviously was very nice to chat with Gav and I for a moment. (Me, I admit to listening to the "Celebrity Skin" title track and even "Malibu" on occasion, and I still have an affinity for the "Celebrity Skin" video's use of purple.)]
Most Puzzling Rhyme
Neko Case - "Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth"
When she's on her best behavior
Don't be tempted by her favors
Never turn your back on mother earth
I realize this is a cover song so my question should be directed toward Sparks, but why not use "Mother Nature" instead of "Mother Earth"? It would fit the rhyme scheme -- did you guys get tired of making rhymes? Is this a postmodern thing?
Soul Asylum Funeral/Urinal Memorial Award: Best Half-Rhyming Couplet
Franz Ferdinand - "What She Came For"
You make us all feel gauche
Like it's a smutty joke
Neko Case - "People Got a Lotta Nerve"
I'm a maneater
Still you're surprised when I eat 'ya
Most Hilariously Misheard Lyric
Andrew Bird - "Effigy"
If you long to burn an effigy
[At the 3:19 mark, "burn" sounds like "bone". If you're going to bone an effigy, I recommend doing so prior to ignition.]
Best Imagery
Franz Ferdinand - "Twilight Omens"
I wrote your name on the back of my hand
slept upon it
then I woke up with it
backwards on my face
reading forward from my mirror to my heart
Best Turn of Phrase
M Ward - "Stars of Leo"
I get so low I need a little pick-me-up
I get so high I need a bring-me-down
Best Overall Verse
M Ward - "To Save Me"
He push a breath of air and he fills every sail in sight
He spin a big blue ball and your day turns into night
He shifts in his sleep and the Earth begins to quake
So how much difference could it possibly make
How much effort could it possibly take
To save me?
U2 - "Cedars of Lebanon"
Choose your enemies carefully ‘cos they will define you
Make them interesting ‘cos in some ways they will mind you
They’re not there in the beginning but when your story ends
Gonna last with you longer than your friend
Neko Case - "I'm an Animal"
I love you this hour, this hour today
And Heaven will smell like the airport,
But I may never get there to prove it
So let's not waste our time thinkin' how that ain't fair.
1 comment:
That last verse from "I'm an Animal" was Alipete's submission. It's pretty good. I don't know what "Heaven will smell like the airport" means -- I've never really noticed a particular airport smell -- but it's pretty good otherwise.
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