The Forgettable Fire

I know we're all exhausted from talking about board games, but can we take a moment to discuss Crossfire?

No, it's not that gay CNN show that was cancelled (I think), it's slightly better.

As a kid, I was very, very excited when my brother and I received Crossfire for some reason. The commercials we'd seen for Crossfire looked super-awesome. No one we knew owned Crossfire. Crossfire was going to kick so much ass. How could we be so lucky?

The object of the game was to fire your gun, loaded with ball bearings, toward the two puck thingys, and to push both puck thingys all the way across the board. Your opponent also tried to shoot both thingys across the board.

Two players. Two puck thingys. Can you see why Crossfire turned out to be a bust?

It was terrible. One person would succeed in shooting puck 1 across the board, while the opponent would succeed in shooting puck 2 across the board. Ties are for soccer, not board games. Not board games that inflate your hopes with promises of gun-shooting.

Now I see that the goal of Crossfire was to "push your puck into your opponent's goal as often as you can", which sounds even lamer than the way my bro and I played. Amazon also features some customer reviews:

My 7yo son cried the first (and therefore only) time he played it because it was too hard to fire the guns. He had to squeeze with both hands, which prevented him from being able to use one hand to reload. They often misfire and you have to jiggle them to get the balls to roll into place and that can mess up the whole playing surface. He also said it hurt his hand to pull the trigger. I tried to play the game to see how bad it was. I couldn't even finish the game because I developed a blister on my trigger finger. The next day, my whole hand was sore and the pain extended up my forearm.

Nice work, Crossfire! You sucked and you always will suck. Get fucked.