The Apocalypse And Signs Thereof

Saturday night, when my comrades at the bar broached the breaking news regarding Britney Spears' scalp, I began to lament the information age. For every Battle of New Orleans mishap, there seemed to be many positives to a simpler time -- the primary advantage being an additional week or month without being flooded with the phrase "Britney Shears".

By Sunday, Gavin made the advantages of these modern times clear: asteroid detection.

He writes:

Who'd have thought that Armageddon could be the worst piece of cinematography ever, yet its sequel would be the Greatest Event in History.

Setting: Johnson Space Center, Houston, TX

President - "That asteroid is headed straight for earth."
NASA Official - "Fuck, call that oil driller!
Administrative Assistant - "Who?"
NASA Official - "You know... Harry!"
Scientist - "Sir, that was in a movie. And Bruce Willis died at the end."
Administrative Assistant - "Is there another driller you would like me to call."
NASA Official - "Shut up!! Somebody get those asteroid rovers with the drill and gatlin guns fired up!