Thursday, April 26, 2007

Any Other Name

This week, at work, I met someone in person for the first time, and I was surprised to see a wedding ring on her hand. Why? Because her first name matches her surname so perfectly, I assumed it was crafted.

There are a few possible explanations for the discrepancy:

1. She chose not to take her husband's name.

2. Her husband's last name was the single deciding factor in her decision to marry.

3. She hired pharmaceutical executives -- the guys that turn "terbinafine hydrochloride" into "Lamisil" and brand "herpes cream" as "Abreva" -- to create an identity, and changed her name accordingly.

As a result of this experience, I'm thinking about names, and the huge impact they have. What if L.L. Bean had been named Paul Ulysses Bean? Would Britain have rallied behind Gary Churchill? Who had history's most perfect name? Besides Max Power and Lois Lane, what are the most perfect fictional names?


Anonymous said...

Best name in history is a two-way tie: Gaius Julius Caesar and Nick Badway. Greatest fake name: Ron Mexico.


Chris said...

Amory Blaine is pretty damn good, as is Lloyd Christmas. Of course, I'm biased towards Floyd Masterson, perhaps the manliest name ever man.

Chris said...

Sorry, thought of a couple more. Marlon Brando is a great name, as is Abraham Lincoln. And you all know my feelings about Clive Owen.

On a related note, do you guys ever not like an athlete or actor because his name sucks? For instance, I don't care how good a pitcher he is, Jake Peavy will never be a star in my book. And is it really a surprise that Curtis Enis or Ryan Leaf never made it in the NFL? I seriously wouldn't have drafted either of those guys based on name alone.

Anonymous said...

Ned Flanders. Harry Carey. Augustus Gloop.

All of these would be worthy of divorce if suggested by a significant other.

On the other hand, some of my favorites are Norman St*rr (the a is a star), Neil Diamond, and Cosmo Kramer.


Jenny said...

Rock Cartwright.
Donald Trump.
George Brett.
Donatella Versace.
Albert Einstein.

Best fake name - Veronica Corningstone.

Good flow.

Corinne said...

Meave Binchy, Irish Author
Keith Machunga, guy I went to high school with

and of course I'll forever be a fan of Hermoine Granger.

Anonymous said...

Steve Stevenson or Chesty LaRue

nuff said