Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Laughing Out Lachlan

I spent last Thursday reviewing hospital charts, considering how nice the word "cesarean" sounds and how the phrase "bladder flap" is not.

I sat there at my tiny workstation inside the medical records department, searching searching searching, typing typing typing. When the harpie secretary wasn't screeching about her house or her husband or her job, the office was perfectly silent -- her half-dozen coworkers rarely even whispered to one another.

And then, in the silence, I heard a man's soulful humming. But hark! It wasn't a mere hum -- the man was softly singing. After a few bars, I had no problem identifying the song my African-American peer couldn't keep inside. It was Sarah McLachlan's "Angel".

What normally would have been simply funny was upgraded to hilarious, because I've been seeing this laugh riot on TV a lot lately:

I can't stress this enough: I'm not being sarcastic when I call that clip a laugh riot. I laugh every time it comes on TV. I just played it twice and laughed each time. That cat with one eye! He gets me every time!

Maybe you think I'm an asshole for laughing at one-eyed cats, but hear me out. I don't want cats to get an eye poked out. I like cats. Just because I once wrote a note to Heather's cat Olive that said, "You think you're so cool but you're not -- this isn't over," doesn't mean I don't love our furry friends. I want them to live nine happy and full lives. But, should bad fortune befall Whiskers, I say tough shit. And I say Sarah McLachlan takes back whatever scratch she gives to the ASPCA and reinvests it in a charity that will help a human fucking being. After we solve Darfur and we heal lepers in Calcutta and we fix our schools and all that jazz, THEN we can worry about a kennels of underfed dogs and THEN we can pay for feline cosmetic surgery.

(Mostly unrelated: why is cockfighting illegal? Seriously, they're chickens. We eat those guys. We can eat them, but we can't watch them box? Is it so different than watching two beetles wrestle, or watching two bees have a sting-off? Legalize cockfighting. Vote yes on prop 513.)

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