Tuesday, June 16, 2009

One-Sided Conversation

As I'm sure you remember from my July 2005 note, after maternity leave is up, mothers are welcome to bring their infants in until he or she is 6 months old.

This is usually not a big deal. The infant sleeps a lot and cries occasionally. But bigger problems can surface.

The following is what I could hear clearly coming through an open office door from 11:15 to 11:45 today -- additional inaudible phrases are not included.

Hello there, [redacted]! Hi there!
Is that the giraffe? Is that the giraffe you see?
You're doing a good job! Yeah, you're doing a good job!
Get the monkey! Get him! Get him! Get him! Good job!
Great job, [redacted]! Great job!
Good job, kiddo!
Oh, you're okay! You're okay!
Did you pee your diaper? Your diaper is clean!
Do you want the monkey? Get that monkey!
Do you need a break? Do you need a break from the jungle gym?
Doo doo doo! Dah dah dah!
You're going to poo as soon as I change this one.
That's funny! I know!
Oh, oh, oh, you're okay! Hi! You're okay!
What is that? What do you think?
(unintelligible song or video plays)
Ohhhh! Ohhhh!
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Mmm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
I know. Do you got a booger?
Yeah? Ooohhoohh.
Yeah? And then what?
You're going to get it! You're going to get the puppy!
Monkey monkey monkey!
Is that good?
Get the monkey? Get the monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
Monkey monkey monkey?
There you go!
Want to try this way?
What? I am right here! I'm right here, ready to help you!
What? I'm right here!
Yeah! You're okay! You're okay, kiddo! I know.
What are you doing? Ohhh, you're okay! You're okay! You're okay!
Well, yeah! You are just all about making noises today, huh?
Are you all about making noises today?
Yeah? Ready? Yeah?
Oh, you're okay! You're okay!
What are you doing, kid?
Really?! And then what did you do?


Anonymous said...

to be fair, she could've been on the phone with an elderly citizen inquiring about 'the swine flu'...


Floyd said...

Makes me want to have kids.

Jenny said...

Oh shit. I think I had that same conversation yesterday. Minus all the monkeys. But I was in my home, not at work. Never at work. And I'm a pediatrician.