Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Walking Dumb - Season 2 Episode 6

floyd: hi
dn: hello
dn: how are you?
floyd: not bad
floyd: yourself?
dn: I'm glad we have a holiday tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving!
dn: you hate Thanksgiving food though
floyd: I don't hate it
floyd: just kind of meh
floyd: to most of it
floyd: turkey is no McRib
dn: the McRib could be made of turkey for all we know
floyd: there's probably some in there
floyd: somewhere
dn: you know what else if full of turkeys? THIS SHOW!
floyd: I'm trying really hard to think of a Thanksgiving joke
dn: John Wayne would say, "It's tough to do, Pilgrim."
dn: Pilgrim? Thanksgiving?
floyd: um ... eating turkey makes me feel like a zombie?
floyd: you know
floyd: because it makes you drowsy?
dn: i get it
floyd: I have 11 condoms left?
dn: I get jokes
dn: So episode 6
dn: last season was only 6 episodes long
dn: so such luck this year
dn: the episode begins with one of the farm ladies feeding the barn zombies
floyd: right
dn: fuck man
dn: can you believe I wrote that sentence?
dn: and that sentence refers to a show I watch every week?
floyd: and she breaks the leg of the one chicken, needlessly graphic, so that the zombies are attracted to the movement or something
floyd: I guess?
floyd: is that what happened?
dn: I assume it's so the zombies can catch it
dn: instead of the chicken running circles around them
floyd: well, chickens are notoriously more agile than woodchucks
floyd: or cows, I guess?
floyd: wouldn't the chicken eventually just get tired, though?
floyd: the zombies wouldn't swarm the chicken?
floyd: it just seemed needlessly cruel
floyd: I cared about 200 times more about that chicken than I do about Sophia, for example
floyd: Sophia is the missing girl
floyd: that's a bad sign
dn: I think they have probably tried NOT breaking the chickens' legs before
dn: trial and error has resulted in this method
floyd: ha
floyd: the zombies just eventually gave up
floyd: because zombies do that
floyd: they get bored and just give up sometimes
dn: who knows?
dn: maybe a healthy chicken pecked one of their eyes out
floyd: who cares?
dn: so at the end of this episode, we see a herd of cattle in the background
dn: and like you just pointed out
dn: zombies eat chickens and woodchucks
floyd: your catching that really made me laugh
dn: I guess barbed wire is doing the job for those cows
floyd: zombies are Hindu?
dn: haha
floyd: this show is just an Imperial British racist drama
floyd: it's all just an allegory
floyd: now I kind of want to write that screenplay
dn: it writes itself, really
floyd: "Everybody knows that the British brutally oppressed the Indians"
floyd: "What my show presupposes is ... maybe the Indians deserved it?"
floyd: -- pitch of The Walking Dead
dn: haha
dn: so this episode starts, and little Carl gets in trouble for stealing a handgun
floyd: haha
floyd: oh, Carl
floyd: what a Freudian mess that kid is
floyd: he gets shot, and then he wants to get closer to the gun
dn: and Grimes and Mrs Grimes argue about if they should teach the kid to shoot
dn: which should NOT EVEN BE AN ARGUMENT
floyd: actually, aren't they arguing over whether their small child should be able to carry a loaded gun around?
floyd: and Rick's totally for it
floyd: because Rick is somehow a worse parent than Lori
dn: I thought it was just teaching him how to shoot and whatnot
dn: since no one is supposed to be carrying guns
dn: per Hershel's orders
floyd: man, that rule just went by the wayside
floyd: Hershel is kind of a pushover
dn: so is Lori, because Rick wins and lil' Carl immediately starts shooting at empty bottles
dn: as do like 6 other people in this little gun class they start
dn: lots of bullets shot in this episode
floyd: bullets are virtually unlimited in the zombie apocalypse
floyd: contrary to popular belief, they do NOT become currency
floyd: or maybe that comes later
floyd: since the worst group of survivors ever is just wasting them left and right
floyd: shooting them at each other, even!
dn: next plot point: Short Round spills the beans about the barn zombies to old man Dale, so Dale confronts Hershel about it
dn: and Hershel explains that the barn zombies are his wife, etc, and he wants to keep them around
dn: in case a cure is found
dn: and feed them limping chickens
floyd: a cure for rotting corpses
dn: even though zombies don't need nourishment, I'm pretty sure
floyd: who knows what they need in this world
floyd: it hasn't been addressed much
floyd: if they do need nourishment, it doesn't seem to keep them from rotting
dn: yeah what's up with that?
dn: and I was thinking today about their clothes
dn: seems like zombies lose weight over time
dn: I'd like to see them shuffling around with pants around their ankles
floyd: haha
floyd: I'm sure you would, pervert
dn: it's a very specific fetish
dn: and I REFUSE to be silent or ashamed about it
floyd: this isn't an erotic zombie drama
floyd: God, is it not erotic
floyd: speaking of a total lack of eroticism, Shane and Andrea do it in a car
floyd: poll: More or less disgusting than when Shane banged Lori?
floyd: I say less
dn: probably less, because there is less camera time on the actual event
dn: post-apocalyptic sex in a Hyundai
dn: that's livin!
floyd: Hyundai? More like Fun-day!
floyd: I hate myself
dn: Finally for this episode, Lori asks Short Round to make another pharmacy run, and he brings back MORNING AFTER PILLS for the pregnancy she is weeks into
dn: to her credit, she does say she doesn't know if they will still work
floyd: only because she thinks they expire
floyd: like vodka
dn: and I guess she couldn't tell Glen to pick her up some Pennyroyal Tea or RU486
dn: or U571
floyd: or a coat hanger
dn: wait - was that my joke?
floyd: it was
dn: God, I'm the best
floyd: here's the thing
floyd: if Lori really wanted an abortion
floyd: which, by the way, is a terribly irresponsible thing to do in a zombie apocalypse, given that the human race has been almost completely wiped out
floyd: there's an animal doctor right inside that could probably help somehow
floyd: I mean, I get that she doesn't trust Hershel
floyd: but you know, taking abortion pills weeks after they're supposed to work seems like a pretty poor idea, too
dn: so glad she has this plotline
dn: love to see more camera time for Lori
dn: she's the best, and not at all a horrible skeleton bitch
floyd: yep, it's why I tune in
floyd: for normal life dramas set in a fantastic apocalyptic world
dn: anyway, she takes the pills then IMMEDIATELY vomits them back up
dn: instead of just taking ONE extra minute to make a decision
floyd: a real blow to the pro-choice movement
floyd: so does Rick catch her?
dn: and then Grimes finds out and they have a boring talk about it
floyd: right
floyd: well, it's pretty exciting, for this show
dn: and he's like, "Anything else?"
dn: "Well, I boned Shane."

floyd: and then he doesn't even really care that much
dn: "Oh. That's fine." 
floyd: see, that should have been the breaking point
floyd: Jesus, they have a chance for some real drama and they just defuse it by making Rick understanding
floyd: I mean, we'll see what happens, I guess
floyd: I guess ...
dn: we have to see what happens
dn: we're pretty committed to this bullshit

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