On Christmas Eve, after mom and I made it through a few episodes of The Muppet Show on DVD, we caught the last hour of It's a Wonderful Life was on television. I noticed a few things in this viewing that I hadn't caught previously.
As you'll recall, George Bailey gets hammered, wrecks his car into a tree, stumbles over to a bridge, and considers jumping in the river to kill himself. Before he can take the plunge, his guardian angel, Clarence, intentionally falls into the river; George dives down to save Clarence instead of killing himself.
I'm no physicist, but isn't there a serious problem with this scenario? If the bridge is low enough so that neither individual died after diving into the river below, why did George pick that spot to kill himself in the first place? He's lived in Bedford Falls his whole life and he doesn't know that the bridge is a glorified diving board?
Speaking of Bedford Falls, we're to believe that if George Bailey had never existed, the town itself would be named Potterville, and its downtown would consist of a dozen or so trashy bars. But wasn't this town - whatever it's called - relatively small? How can such a medium-sized town support so many houses of ill repute? And why does it have so many taxis? Best I can tell, there's only one main street in Beford Falls - do the taxis just drive up and down that one street?
If I'd never existed...
...My elementary school has a different logo, and one of my classmates
receives the Gambino's Pizza gift certificate as a reward for the winning design.
...Ryan is the chess champion of the 7th grade.
...My 8th grade basketball team commits about 6 fewer turnovers during the championship game, winning easily.
...Kristina is Senior Class President, nothing different happens, except maybe a different 10-year reunion.
...One less game of Chug-It occurs, everyone involved probably better off.
...Floyd is convinced he is the greatest EA Sports NCAA Football player/coach ever.
...Website readers are alerted to Lazy Sunday a few days late.
...Four thousand fewer broken hearts.
...Riots in the streets. Lots of riots.
6 comments:
yah, my heart would still be intact you bastard
My CD collection would be boring, I would still be dating someone I don't like, and my Chug It game would have gathered more dust.
Heather
Maybe true (esp if you ask my liver), but i still wouldn't take back Chug-It for a second...
[-jeff.]
I wouldn't take back the part where I attempted a headstand, but I would take back the vomiting.
Wasn't someone called clinically retarded during that game?
Heather
Easy, Heather...Dan's a little sensitive about that. Besides, the clinical marvel from that night was actually achieving a greater concentration of alcohol than plasma in my system...
[-jeff.]
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