Quotes - Part One - The Simpsons

I loved The Onion's list of "Simpsons quotes for everyday use" - it made me realize how many Simpsons quotes I use in my own everyday speech. I thought I'd try to make a list of Simpsons quotes that my friends and I use on a daily basis.

Then, one night after dinner, I said, "Right? Right, Comrades?", and realized I was quoting the scene where Austin Powers is unfrozen. I decided to monitor myself for a few weeks, and count the number of TV and movie quotes that came out of my mouth.

Now, bear in mind - there are two different quote situations. One is "in context". If you're out bowling, and someone screams, "OVER THE LINE!!", that Big Lebowski quote is "in context". The other is "out of context". When you're out bowling, and someone screams, "EAT THE HAM, TINA!", that Napoleon Dynamite quote is "out of context".

I'm listing only "in context" quotes - quotes that we honestly, almost subconsciously, use regularly. I'm excluding mainstream quotes, such as Seinfeld's "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

First up, The Simpsons


"Not a looker in the bunch."

The Sea Captain says this after a group of senior citizens board his ship. I think it's pretty obvious when I would use it - at the bar, at a party - whenever the ladies don't meet my exacting specifications.


* * *

"Meh."

Wikipedia (who else?) explains it best:

"Meh" is a commonly used word in the Simpsons universe, and is a sort of grunt of disinterest.

In the episode "Hungry Hungry Homer", Homer asks Bart and Lisa if they want to go to Blockoland:

Bart and Lisa together: Meh.
Homer: But the TV gave me the impression that...
Bart: We said, "Meh!"
Lisa: M-E-H, meh.

The meaning seems to be approximately "I'm not in favour of the idea, but would go along if necessary." It could also be interpreted to mean "Oh well" or "whatever."

One notable use in this form was in the episode "Girly Edition." When Marge says to Homer "Oh, for Pete's sake! Why is that monkey wearing a diaper? I thought he was housebroken!", Mojo, the helper-monkey, responds by waving his hand while saying "Meh".

* * *

"Yoink!"

Again, the web explains it:

After appearing many times on The Simpsons, "Yoink" has gained widespread usage as a verbal exclamation made when removing or stealing an object from its owner or rightful place. First used by Homer in "Duffless", when he snatches the wad of money he saved, by not drinking for a month, from Marge. Coined by Simpsons writer George Meyer.

* * *


Comedian: I finally got around to reading the dictionary...turns out the Zebra did it (crowd laughs)
Homer: I don't get it
Lisa: Dad, the Zebra didn't do it, its just a word at the end of the dictionary
Homer: I still don't get it.
Lisa: It's just a joke
Homer: Oooh! I get it! I get jokes.. ahahahahahahaha

Used sarcastically, usually after hearing an obvious, current-events-related zinger. You get a lot of mileage out of this quote during a Leno monologue.

* * *

"I hear that, Renegade."

(Bart replaced Lorenzo Lamas' character on the USA Network's "Renegade". His sidekick was agreeing with him about something - I can't find the dialogue online.) Used in place of the more pedestrian "I agree." or "You've got that right."

* * *

Homer: Uh, oh. Here comes Lorne Michaels. Pretend you don't see him.
Lorne: Ah, Max Power. Trent said I absolutely must meet you. This is fabulous--
Homer (interrupting): Anyway, Marge, how do you feel about the economy?
(Lorne walks away dejected)

Used to steer the conversation away from its current course. Always said loudly. Usually results in the person really talking about the state of the U.S. economy; at that point, I try to redirect the conversation once more.

* * *

Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren was never a stripper!
Homer: Oh, now who's being naive?

Used absurdly, as above.

* * *

"All for Syrus! All for Syrus!"

I have no idea as to the context of this phrase (or how to spell the name Syrus/Cyrus), but I think it was from The Simpsons. Most often used in poker, after winning a large pot, while raking chips toward yourself.

* * *

Data: "It must be coming towards us at a fantastic speed!"
Cosine: "We must alert the proper authorities."
Report Card: "To the observatory!"

A nerd code-named "Report Card" said this excitedly at the beginning of their trip - I use it in the same fashion.

* * *

"Careful! They're ruffled!"

Buzz Aldrin's warning about potato chips floating inside the space shuttle. Used at picnics, or wherever chips may be found.

* * *

[Bees have escaped from a bee farm]
Beekeeper 1: Hmmm. Awfully quiet around here.
Beekeeper 2: Yes... a little TOO quiet, if you know what I mean.
Beekeeper 1: Hmmm. Afraid I don't.
Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests no bees.
Beekeeper 1: Hmm... oh look, there goes one.
Beekeeper 2: To the bee mobile!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper 2: ...Yes.

Used immediately after deciding to take a trip in a car.

* * *

Burns: Who is that lavatory links man, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.
Burns: Well, he's certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I've finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns, eh?
Smithers: His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I've never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.
Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his (imitating Nixon) "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!" (Smithers laughs) I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?
Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.
Burns: Bah! Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.

Used rarely, exactly how you'd think. It comes up more often than you'd think, too.

* * *

[Bart walks into the room looking sad]
Marge: Do you notice something different about Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, the way he's been acting. He seems depressed.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.

Used absurdly, in response to a "What's wrong with him?" inquiry.

* * *

[the Simpsons are in an office with two FBI men letting them know about going to the federal witness protection program]
FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson.So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
Homer: Check!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [pause]
FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Mr. Thompson.
Homer: Gotcha!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[again Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
[hours pass by]
FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
[stepping hard on Homer's foot]
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.
[FBI man gives up]

The loud whisper, i.e. "I think he's talking to you," or, "He seems nice," is used always said loud enough for the everyone to hear. Used to poke fun at the person that, if the whisper was soft, could not hear the phrase.

* * *

[Homer and Bart are being taunted for riding in an electric car]
Gay Robots: One of us. One of us. One of us.

Used to peer-pressure someone into doing the popular thing - ordering the same beer at a bar, for example.

* * *

Bart: I think sharing is overrated too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. But I think I'll go on the retreat anyway.

Used to express support of a revolutionary idea.

* * *

Milhouse: [Milouse crawls out from a tunnel of mattresses, his hand over his nose] It smells funny in there.
Homer: No, it doesn't.

Used to deny an obvious fact. The tone of voice here is key - if you don't say it like Homer does, you're not quoting The Simpsons. (I always think of my friend Nathan saying this - I think he does the best impression.)

* * *
McBain: Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? [pause] That's the joke.
Man: [from audience] You suck, McBain!
[McBain pulls a machine gun and fires into the audience]

Used to express the finality of a statement, as in, "That's it. That's all. That's the joke."

* * *

Kent: The safe-baby craze: It's sweeping Springfield thanks to one crusading parent.
Homer: That's me! [gets off the couch, dancing and singing] Safety dance, safety dance, everybody look at your pants!
Kent: But while Homer Simpson has made our babies safe, he's made infant-related businesses cry -- all the way *away* from the bank. [cut to Kent interviewing a businessman] How are your baby crutch sales?
Businessman: Uh, terrible, Kent. And cartoon character Band-Aids, forget about it.
[cut to Hibbert, holding up a happy baby]
Hibbert: Look at this baby. Not a scratch on him, and I've got boat payments.
[cut to a factory owner, standing in front of the factory that prints baby get-well cards]
Owner: The dream is over. Shut 'er down, boys!
[a steam whistle blows, and the factory stops. Dozens of newly-unemployed workers trudge out of the plant]

This is one of the few quotes I researched for this assignment that I was horrified to find I was saying incorrectly. I had been saying "The dream is dead," rather than "The dream is over." Shockingly, no one noticed. Again, the tone of voice is key here - it's not a Simpsons quote unless you say it like the stereotypical Texas businessman. Anyway, it's used to represent false dismay toward a routine happening, such as a sold-out movie or a closed restaurant.

* * *

(Homer is carrying a gun.)
Apu: Oh! Don't shoot! Just take the money and get out!
Homer: What? Oh, Apu, I would never...or would I? I've already gone this far. I wonder what my life would be like if I robbed the Kwik-E-Mart...

Homer imagines himself sitting in a rocking chair on the porch of a beautiful mansion, dressed in a top hat and suit with a sash reading "Senator". He smokes a cigar and twirls his gun on his finger. As music plays, Marge dances in a pink bikini. Convinced, Homer makes his decision.

Homer: I'll do it! I'll rob the Kwik-E-Mart!

Used pretty much anytime after saying, "I'll do it."

* * *

UPDATE 6/12

I caught myself using just a few more today...

Indian #1: Thank you. I just wish Ben and Hoss and Little Joe and Hop Sing and Sheriff Roy and all your favorites could be alive today to see this wonderful turnout.

Indian #2: You know, on the series, we were always trying to kill the Cartwrights. [audience boos] But it looks like Father Time took care of that for us, right? [pause] Am I right, folks?

[the audience doesn't respond, so the two Indians motion for the theme song to play again, which they dance to]

Used whenever a joke bombs.

* * *

Back to the loch with you, Nessie!

Groundskeeper Willie said this after viewing the hideous Selma's video dating submission. Used after viewing, eating, drinking, or reading anything unappealing.

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If I missed anything, or got anything wrong, let me know in the comments.

The next installments will cover non-Simpsons TV shows, and movies.