Quotes - Part Three - Film

Continuing on, movie quotes myself or my friends use in everyday conversation.


--Bottle Rocket--



"On the run from Johnny Law... Ain't no trip to Cleveland."

Used to express the difficulty of a task.

* * *

--Rushmore--



"I miss the seasons."

Max says while he is enrolled at Grover Cleveland High, referring to his old life at Rushmore Academy. The schools are both in Houston, making this lament absurd. Get it? I get jokes. Anyway, it's used nostagically.


* * *

"Let's rock, Esposito! I repeat - let's rock!"

This is one of the lines in Rushmore that I wasn't familiar with until I watched the whole movie with the subtitles on. It's one of Dirk's lines in Max' opus, "Heaven and Hell", a play about Vietnam. He says it while radioing a platoon or gunboat or something. Used as a rallying cry.


* * *

Miss Cross: "Do you want a carrot?"
Herman Blume: "Yeah, I'll have one of those."

Used as above, said evenly.


* * *

--Anchorman--



Brian Fantana: "No, no. She gets the special one. It's called Sex Panther, by Odeon. It's made from bits of real panther, so you know it's good! ...They've done studies you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works everytime."
Ron Burgundy: "That doesn't make sense."

Used as above.


* * *

"It's boring, but it's part of my life."

Used after explaining one's hobbies or work activities. In Ron Burgundy's case, lifting weights.


* * *

"I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities."

Used after someone points out an error or inaccuracy in your statement(s).


* * *

Brick Tamland: I love... carpet. [pause] I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.

Used as a punchline, after others have remarked about loving a certain item or food.


* * *

"It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice."

Used to remark on the high temperature.


* * *

--Old School--



"You're... you're crazy man. I like you, but you're crazy."

Used to express appreciation toward a person or that person's wild sensibilities.


* * *

"Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous!"

Used to describe a person's place or residence, chosen vacation spot, destination, etc, regardless of which state the person is travelling to/living in. An alternative phrase is, "Ah, yes - the City of Lights!"


* * *

[Mitch has caught Mark with another woman]
"What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there."

Used when wrapping up a trivial conversation.

--Dirty Work--



[Mitch is trying to talk on a phone he has just destroyed. The caller can't hear him well.]
"It must be... your phone."

Used as above, but usually on a phone that hasn't been beaten with a baseball bat.

* * *


"Old Jack's an odd duck. Many times, I catch him staring at me sleeping, which is off-putting. His feet bleed..."

Used to describe a gross or undesirable person or thing.

* * *


"Oh yeah: intense physical attraction to me."

This was Mitch's reasoning for why the film's female lead was putting up with his behavior. I use it the same way.


* * *

--Election--



"Shit that was a fun party!"

Used as Paul "You Betzler" Metzler uttered it.


* * *

--Billy Madison--



"Mr. Madison, what you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."

I think everyone uses this, or has at least heard it, so I don't feel any need to explain.


* * *

"This is the best night of my life!"

Billy and his friends said this after the old man "called the shit poop". Used somewhat sarcastically, after something funny happens.


* * *

--Notting Hill--



Anna: Can I stay for a while?
William: You can stay forever.

Used as above, said while doing a horribly, horribly bad Hugh Grant impersonation.


* * *

--Office Space--




[Michael Bolton is having trouble with the fax machine.]
"PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean?"

Used when confused about something, especially technology.


* * *

--There's Something About Mary--



"All I've got are these damn Nepalese coins"

Used when you're asking for a loan, especially if you don't have the correct amount of change, enough cash, etc.


* * *

"We got this one guy Mongo, he's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater, but he's a good shit, so we don't bust his chops too much."

Used describe a good friend or acquaintance.


* * *

Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

Used when jogging someone's memory.


* * *

--Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery--



Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.
Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

Used to solicit comments from individuals that are uninterested in your idea/joke/etc.


* * *

--The Royal Tenenbaums--




[Eli is on drugs while being interviewed on Peter Bradley's television show. He is wearing a microphone.]
Peter Bradley: Now, your previous novel...
Eli: Yes, "Wildcat".
Peter Bradley: Not a success. Why?
Eli: Well... "Wildcat" was written in a kind of obselete vernacular...
[long pause]
Eli: ... wildcat... wild... cat...
[he stares into space]
Eli: ... pow... wildcat... I'm going to go. I'm taking this off and I'm going.

Used when making an exit, especially a quick exit.


* * *

[Raleigh St. Clair is experimenting on Dudley]
"How interesting! How bizarre!"

Said excitedly when witnessing an odd event.


* * *

--Zoolander--




[Zoolander and Hansel are trading barbs.]
"You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't."

Used immediately before unleashing a damaging comment.


* * *

[Zoolander is explaining why he hasn't yet unleashed "Blue Steel".]
"You gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage."

Used to explain one's inaction.

--Super Troopers--



[A highway patrolman is examining the police station's detention cells]
"What are your cells, 8 by 8? Ours are 9 by 9. No big deal."

Used when bragging about the quality of one's possessions or one's superior qualities, especially when speaking to the opposite sex.


* * *

[A car has just sped by the highway patrolmen.]
"Mother of God."

Said gravely and slowly, after something trivial has occurred.


* * *

--Wet Hot American Summer--



[The assistant professor is teaching the nerdy campers about Earth's orbit around the sun.]
Asst Prof: "You might say that each and every one of us is a crewmember here on Spaceship Earth."
Nerd: "When can we say that?"
Asst Prof: "Any time. Dinner... Literally, any time."

Used as above, or any time after someone says, "Any time".



* * *

Add others in the comments. Next up will be user-submitted quotes from both TV and film. If you have any to add to that list, email me, or leave a comment.