Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Ragin' Palin

I don't like to write about politics. Especially presidential politics. Because if you're an "undecided" voter right now, what I say won't matter. Because you're an idiot. If you still don't know how to choose between Obama and McCain, you're hopeless. It would take you a week to get a cone at Baskin-Robbins.

I also don't like to read about politics, or to watch these conventions. Why should I? I know how I'm going to vote, and nothing some asshole on AM radio says is going to change that.

But I did have the Republican convention on in my hotel room last night, and I listened to Guliani's speech while I shaved. I heard him start a chant of "Drill Baby Drill!", which I equated to JFK's famous "Let's revisit this whole steam power thing" directive.

Then, fresh-shaven and beautiful, I survived a few moments of Sarah Palin's First Big Speech. "Yeah, she's an ass," I confirmed after a few sentences, and switched the TV to a heartwarming biography of "Weird" Al Yankovic.

Ignoring her dumb speech -- why does "folksy"="idiot" with Dan Rather yet "folksy"="plucky" with Bush, Palin, Huckabee, et al? -- I will only say this about Palin and her ballyhooed executive experience as an Alaskan mayor and governor. Yes, she led the state. Yes, she has a high approval rating among her constituents. But it's Alaska! Do you know what else Alaskans give a high approval rating to? Crapping in an bucket!

I expect real former Alaskans to comment on their thoughts about the simplicity of leading that state.


Anonymous said...

As a former Alaskan, I can attest that there is one thing that generally gets you elected and that is digging up any resource around. And I count gravel as a resource.

A woman I know who consistently votes Republican described Palin as "gritty", further explaining her support by reason that an Alaskan can do most anything they want to do. While I do like to think people there are a little more independent (set aside for a moment the fact that it receives the largest amount of federal money per person), I'm not convinced that "doing anything" should include being the chief executive of the world's only superpower. Cutting wood, sure. Building a cabin, okay. Maybe even making your own fur hat. But I have a feeling it may take a little more to be president.

That said, she's very personable and her daughters are easy.

Anonymous said...

Alaskans in my opinion want nothing to do with the lower 48 as a general rule. Alaska doesn't need the US, it has resources out the wazoo. What state do you know of that its citizens fly the state flag and never the american flag? What state do you know where everyone knows the state song and loves to sing it?
(as a side note) I would be ever greatful if the US military would stop using AK as a bomb test site, and get the damn defense missile silo's out of Delta Junction.
I think electing the first female vice president solely because she is a women living in Alaska is a piss poor way to advance the feminist movement. In Palin's speech she said that when the state made big oil revenues what did she do? She gave it directly back to the people. Alaskans have been paid by oil companies for a very long time- its called a dividend check. Anywhere from $1500-$5000 per family member per year. So the more kids you have the more money you get. Hmmm...maybe her daughter just needs some cash?
I am not impressed by her accomplishments (Mayor of Wasilla, a suburb of Anchorage, Yuck!)I could be mayor of no where Alaska too! In fact the bridge to no where, the Knik arm, I could be mayor of that town and would really like it if she quite taking the funds away for my little town so we could be just like Wasilla, a suburb of Anchorage. Just think the Iditarod fake start in Anchorage could be a real start and go straight across the bridge to the real start? That is what Alaskans think about. Why wouldn't you want her to help run the country?