I don't like to write about politics. Especially presidential politics. Because if you're an "undecided" voter right now, what I say won't matter. Because you're an idiot. If you still don't know how to choose between Obama and McCain, you're hopeless. It would take you a week to get a cone at Baskin-Robbins.
I also don't like to read about politics, or to watch these conventions. Why should I? I know how I'm going to vote, and nothing some asshole on AM radio says is going to change that.
But I did have the Republican convention on in my hotel room last night, and I listened to Guliani's speech while I shaved. I heard him start a chant of "Drill Baby Drill!", which I equated to JFK's famous "Let's revisit this whole steam power thing" directive.
Then, fresh-shaven and beautiful, I survived a few moments of Sarah Palin's First Big Speech. "Yeah, she's an ass," I confirmed after a few sentences, and switched the TV to a heartwarming biography of "Weird" Al Yankovic.
Ignoring her dumb speech -- why does "folksy"="idiot" with Dan Rather yet "folksy"="plucky" with Bush, Palin, Huckabee, et al? -- I will only say this about Palin and her ballyhooed executive experience as an Alaskan mayor and governor. Yes, she led the state. Yes, she has a high approval rating among her constituents. But it's Alaska! Do you know what else Alaskans give a high approval rating to? Crapping in an bucket!
I expect real former Alaskans to comment on their thoughts about the simplicity of leading that state.