Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Hey Glasses!

Right. So my eyes have been bothering me lately -- wanting to unfocus, twitching, hurting -- and it's been a real bringdown. There isn't a lot you can do when your eyes hurt. You can't read, you can't properly watch television, you can't spy on neighbors with binoculars. Bringdown. Enter the optometrist, who says I can get some reading glasses, reduce the strain, and feel better. He might be full of beans, but I can't know for sure until the old college try.

Today (thanks, Gerald!) I went to try on some frames. Corinne helped to photograph the experience, and the results are below. I'd appreciate your input. Which do you hate? Which do you not hate? Rank your preferences. Like when you vote for the Heisman. Or don't. Whatever. Help. Feel free to comment on what the glasses make me look like: an accountant, a bass player, an asshat, etc.

And please keep in mind that I'm not trying to look like The Guy Who's Wearing Really Hip Frames, I'm just trying to look like The Attractive Guy Who Happens To Be Wearing Glasses.

Also, and I'm speaking primarly to the gentlemen here, I'd like these frames to say, "Now there's a guy that I don't feel like beating to within an inch of his life."


TED BAKER


JHANE BARNES


CONVERSE (Yes, Converse.)


COLUMBIA


BCBG (whole)


BCBG (half)

Now get out there and VOTE! I'm going to tally this nonsense at the end of the week.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, you anticipate my response, but here it is anyways:

1. I'm still all for the BCBG whole glasses. They DO NOT make you look like a bassist; they make you look cute. Plus, look at how happy you are in the picture. They look natural, and boxy or not, they fit your facial structure well.

2. My next vote would be for the Columbia pair. They're pretty unassuming, which I think you're going for...you definitely would get less comments than you would if you went for the BCBG whole.

Also, I don't know what the hell I was thinking with the Jhane Barnes pair...you look like you may kill me in those classes.

All in all; it's your life dude.

-Corinne

Anonymous said...

classes=glasses, oops

Anonymous said...

I'm at Z's right now, and Jenn just looked at the pictures...and I promise without my input, she picked the BCBG whole as well.

Her response was:

"ooooo I like those!"

So that's 2 for BCBG whole.

-Corinne

Lindsey said...

I'm going to wholeheartedly disagree with Fetter and vote for, in order of preference,
1. Columbia
2. Converse
3. Ted Baker

I don't hate the BCBG, but the thicker frames seem to warrant thoughts of "why is that guy trying so hard?" I don't think you want that.

But then again, I'm not around to look at the glasses daily (unfortunately), so choose wisely.

Your game depends on it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a man; if I vote before another guy does, does that make me both gay and a loser? (Not a commentary on those who have already posted; simply trying to insulate my identity from the already well-founded accusations of one and possibilities of the other. (Guess which is which.))

Anonymous said...

1. Colombia
2. Ted Baker
3. BCBG whole

The converse and BCBG half remind me of raquetball for some reason But I know you love raquetball so maybe they'd work.

I think I would stop short of kicking your ass if you were wearing the Jhane Barnes, but the thought would cross my mind. Unless your band was cool.
-Chris

Anonymous said...

Wow, it's kinda hard to tell when your face is so in my face. I'm not quite sure about any of them. I like big, nerdy 80's frames on guys. Do they still make those?

Columbia and Converse kinda look too skinny/wimpy for your masculine features. I don't like how the BCBG frames have those thingys sticking out of the sides. Can we get a 2nd round of shots?

Unknown said...

Well, after some serious, serious thought. I am on the fence between the Ted Baker pair and the BCBG whole pair. Ted Baker=hot, Columbia whole= hot and nerdy. Can't wait to hear what you choose... I will be waiting.

Anonymous said...

BCBG whole or Ted Baker.

Heather

dn said...

Anonymous: No, you're not gay and you're not a loser. You're experimenting.

Chris: My band is very cool. I'd tell you what we play, but our sound can't really be defined by preconceived genres.

Deanna: I don't know if any company could make glasses man enough for my masculine features. Probably not. And no, you can't get a 2nd round of choices. It took me 3 months to make this one stop.

Floyd said...

The "Columbia" barely makes me want to smash your face at all.

Anonymous said...

dan, sounds like your band is kind of like the flaming lips. and i like the bcbg whole or maybe columbia.

pat

Unknown said...

vote number one is for the jhane barnes. the clear winner. the columbia wins for "safe pick of the year." I'd vote for the bcbg whole on the condition that they are actually both brown and black as the picture seems to reveal. else, they suck. I found the ted baker oddly alluring. julie later said that they're girl glasses, which explained my attraction. doesn't bode well for you, though. the rest suck.

ps. julie votes for jhane barnes, too. she said they're boy glasses. but she also voted they all suck and you should try again, despite your reticence to do so.

Gav said...

Dude, the BCBG whole pair is way too wide. And over the years, I've learned that something wide on your face makes your penis look that much smaller.

Ted Baker says, "Ya, I know these frames match my hair, but atleast I didn't go weezer on your ass."

Converse means, "Well, I had to buy glasses and these were as good as any."

Those are my #1 and #2, respectively.

Gav

Anonymous said...

Oooohhh this is fun. Honestly, I'd have to say that I like the BCBG half. The frames are, overall, less voluminous for your slightly narrow head. The Jhane Barnes are way too "I'm the biggest nerd/poser in town". You would so get beat up if you wore those in public. The Ted Bakers are nice too. Did they have another color in that frame? The black may be a bit too harsh for your soft brown features.

Good luck to you. I wait with breath that is bated....

Mira

Anonymous said...

Columbia.

Anonymous said...

wow. i'm getting in late in the game...

unfortunately, none of them make you look like a bass player. except for maybe the bass player from the proclaimers.

the columbias...and it's not even close. although i like the idea of chuck taylors for your eyes.

[~jeff.]

Anonymous said...

Converse, Columbia, BCBG whole...in that order.

Those are my thoughts.

p.s. Chris can't spell.

dn said...

Cara: Chris is a doctor. I think what happened was his pharmacist/typist couldn't read his notes, and transcribed incorrectly spelled words.

Jeff: I was definitely swayed by the Converse brand - probably the only reason I tried them on. That, and my love of The Proclaimers. But who doesn't love The Proclaimers? I would walk 500 miles to see them live.

Gav and Mira: Very well thought out explanations. I thank you both.

Nathan: I'm ignoring everything you wrote. Taking advice on glasses from someone who got Lasik is like taking advice on real estate from a hobo.

Anonymous said...

FYI:
My coworker Jackson just purchased Ted Baker glasses from Crandon & Crandon, and they come in an AMAZING case with a super-sleek cleaning cloth. So if that sways you at all...

-Corinne

Unknown said...

if more people had taken real estate advice from hobos we wouldn't have had such a crash in the housing market.

Nicolas Frisby said...

1. Ted Baker
2. Columbia
3. Converse

Thick under frames over accentuate your eyes and make your face look top heavy (I hereby turn-in my Man badge and penis... to whomever receives such resignations).

The BCBG (half) look like lab goggles. Maybe that's appropriate; I've never been to your work place.

-Nick

dukkillr said...

Columbia

Anonymous said...

BCBG whole.

I am disappointed that much hype has been given for the Columbia pair. The top corners slant down. Not becoming. Dan please reconsider.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I am taking time out from my beach time down here in Mexico to encourage you to give it another shot. Most of these look way too wide for your face. I think you can doa lot better. (And I think you should try taking photos that include your whole head, neck and maybe even a little shoulder. - these are all so bizarre.) As a person who wears glasses, sometimes it takes a bit more effort than this to find the pair that is acceptable. I would suggest try another store or two, maybe even find yourself a fancy eyeglasses place and have any one of the people there help you pick a frame style that suits your face. They seem to do a bit better than Pearl Vision folks at the mall. You find what you like that looks good on you. If the frames are ridiculously expensive, you at least have found the right shape and then you can find a knock off that's a bit more reasonable. The Ted Bakers are too curvy, they look like girl's glasses. The jhbarnes are nice style, but too wide - you shouldn't be able to see the sides of your head through your lenses. The converse are a better width, but they are kinda unappealing (I don't want to say ugly, but that is what I mean. They actually are just boring.) Columbia - boring dull dull dull. bcbg whole - I think I actually would like these best if they weren't toooooo wiiiiide. really. really. bcbg half, fit better but I don't like that style, I guess.

Hey, tell me about this man Nick's penis, the one that he turned in to you just a few messages back. I can't imagine you really need a spare so if you think I would like it, maybe you can send it up to me with those books on tape.

Anonymous said...

My wife says she'd consider having sex with me once in a while if i had glasses like the Columbia ones. So you know they're a winner.

Sian said...

BCBG whole. there pretty cute