California-Style Dreamin'

I often have dreams I think are very, very funny. They're very funny when I am dreaming them, and when I wake up for a few moments during the night, and when my alarm goes off.

Then, after I become fully conscious, I realize my dream is anything but funny.

Case in point, about two weeks ago I had a "funny" dream about George Washington. I can't recall the "funny" plot exactly, but it involved George and Betsy Ross, and how President Washington could bag any woman he wanted post-Revolutionary War.

That was an especially active night for dreaming. Dream #2 featured by cousin Mark, an sports medicine guy living in Texas that I haven't seen for at least 4 years. Mark was staying in the same hotel/casino as me; everything was fine until he stabbed the my softball team's shortstop to death and cut off the fingers of a piano-playing friend. I woke up before I could alert the hotel police.

In dream #3, I was offered a handjob by a woman who specified that she would only perform the act via "reach-around or California-style". Before I could discover what the Golden State had to offer, an ex-girlfriend (and ex-blog reader) entered our hotel room. The three of us watched TV.