American Gladiators made its triumphant return to television last night, complete with new events, old classics, and a ridiculously high cargo net. After engorging myself on the two-hour debut special, I wondered I could love any of the new gladiators as much as I loved Nitro, the breakout star of the show's original incarnation. I headed to NBC online to learn more about a few of the new gladiators. Here's what I learned:
Hellga
NBC SAYS...When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.
HEIGHT...
6'1"
WEIGHT...
205
FAVORITE BOOK...
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
FAVORITE MOVIE...
Chicago
HOBBIES...
Roller Derby; Cross-stitching; Explaining to people that she's a Viking sterotype, not a German stereotype
AFFILIATIONS...
None
DID YOU KNOW?...
A crippling addiction to pickled herring claimed the life of her unborn child.
Militia
NBC SAYS...The 6-foot, 3-inch, 220-pound Gladiator targets his opponents with tactical precision. With an impressive arsenal of skills at his disposal, he is well equipped for any operation and will do anything to complete his objective. Once Militia has you in his sights, you'd better have a plan, or the game is over.
HEIGHT...
6'3"
WEIGHT...
220 lbs
FAVORITE BOOK...
Sun Tzu's "The Art of War"
FAVORITE MOVIE...
War Games
HOBBIES...
Risk, Stratego
AFFILIATIONS...
GWAR Fan Club (Street Team Member), Minuteman Militia (Newsletter Editor)
DID YOU KNOW?...
Militia maintains his hulking physique through rigorous training, supplemented by injections of lidocaine and vitamin B12.
Wolf
NBC SAYS...When you enter Gladiator Arena keep an eye out for Wolf! Able to smell fear and always going for the jugular, Wolf is 230-pounds of primal fury. He will ferociously defend his turf... and thrives on the opportunity to sink his teeth into any challenge.
HEIGHT...
6'4"
WEIGHT...
225 lbs [NOTE: The conflicting weight reports are both taken from NBC.com]
FAVORITE BOOK...
Where the Red Fern Grows
FAVORITE MOVIE...
Hackers
HOBBIES...
Poker, World of Warcraft
AFFILIATIONS...
Jewish Anti-Defamation League (Wolf is not a member; rather, he spends his spare time picketing the organization's New York offices.)
DID YOU KNOW?...
Although Wolf is actually 100% human, he regularly urinates in Gladiator Arena, most notably on the pyramid, on the wall, and in the 500,000-gallon water tank.
Titan
NBC SAYS...With nearly godlike strength and skill, he is the ultimate warrior. Able to physically dominate foes with his impressive physique, he is equally adept at mind games and will attempt to mentally defeat opponents before the battle even begins. Titan is a double threat who will find a way to win... one way or another.
HEIGHT...
6'3"
WEIGHT...
251 lbs
FAVORITE BOOK...
Maxim's Book of Big Pictures: Hot Babes, Strange Freaks and Bad, Bad Accidents
FAVORITE MOVIE...
Spartacus
HOBBIES...
Trolling for cock at highway rest stations
AFFILIATIONS...
Human Growth Hormone Club for Men (President, Client)
DID YOU KNOW?...
Titan is the lone sibling of former Video Wrestling Association champion King Slender.
Crush
NBC SAYS...Don't let the winsome smile fool you... Crush earned her well-deserved moniker by smashing opponents into submission. Despite her girl-next-door looks, she's a powerful, fierce opponent who has no problem handling the women competitors, and then going back to breaking men's hearts.
HEIGHT...
5'8"
WEIGHT...
141 lbs
FAVORITE BOOK...
The Bible
FAVORITE MOVIE...
Four Weddings and a Funeral
HOBBIES...
Fox hunts, polo
AFFILIATIONS...
Westminster Kennel Club (Grooming Specialist)
DID YOU KNOW?...
Saddled by a genetic condition, Crush has only two years to live.
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