Sunday, January 13, 2008

Internet Roundup

Patton Oswalt had a bit on his last comedy album where he railed against the existence of KFC's Famous Bowl (you can download or stream that bit here). The Onion recently asked him to eat the food in question:
The cheese had congealed. Even in the heat and steam of the covered Famous Bowl, it had congealed. I stabbed it with the tines of my spork and it all came up in one piece. I nibbled an edge, had a vision of a crying Dutch farmer, and put it down.

Jeff Johnson discusses the Tony Romo / Jessica Simpson affair:
In my own life, I have almost no discipline. No rules. The only principles I have are these: 1) Try to never go to a place where Sammy Hagar has smiled. And 2) Try to never go to a place where Sammy Hagar has experienced pleasure. Tony, in traveling to Los Cabos, obviously doesn’t share my outlook. It will most certainly haunt him.

The gold standard for a catchy introductory paragraph and for an epic suicide:
On a rainy October night in Washington, D.C., the friends and family of Jeremy Blake gathered for a private memorial service at the Corcoran Gallery of Art. Blake, an art-world star acclaimed for his lush and moody "moving paintings," shape-shifting innovations mixing abstract painting and digital film, had ended his life on the night of July 17, walking into the Atlantic Ocean off Rockaway Beach, Queens, never to return.

"I am going to join the lovely Theresa," Blake, 35, had written on the back of a business card, which he left on the beach, along with his clothes.

I'm traveling to South America very soon. I have a lot of questions. What music should one listen to on a trip through temperate South America? (I'm leaning toward Bob Dylan and alternative country.) Should I pack heavy or light? And should I go to this theme park?
For 15 pesos (about $5), patrons can stroll through the plaster city, centered around a climbable version of Mt. Calvary, experiencing dance spectacles, popular religious history, and what's billed as typical period cuisine.

After visiting a papal gazebo and a Roman palace stocked with marble and slaves, they can buy candles and pray to various saints, or pose for photos as a humble peasant woman, robe-clad Arab, or imposing Roman soldier.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

seriously...put every patton oswalt dvd on the top of your netflix queue. he is probably the funniest man on the planet. note: his work on king of queens is not representative.

as for the south america trip, you should probably listen to a lot of Sepultura. and lee greenwood, so you don't forget about the REAL america...