Thursday, January 17, 2008

Fecal Roster

Governmento de Argentina

There is a charge to leave your country -- a $20 exit tax. How can that be legal? Even if it is legal, NOT COOL. You'd think a place with "the largest anarchist contingent of any South American country" would be more anxious to send people on their way.

Snow-covered Car Drivers

Even if you've completely scraped all windows and windshields, you're not done. Take the extra two minutes to clear off the snow on your lights, roof, hood, and trunk BEFORE you hit the highway. You might enjoy pretending to drive a comet, throwing off a trail of frozen matter as you speed down the road, but it's NOT COOL.

Ron Paul Supporters

Giving money to a Libertarian candidate? Why don't you just flush it down the toilet? Speaking of...

Toilet-soiling Co-worker

Hey, buddy. It's been years now. An ape could have mastered this "skill" buy now. Jesus, an alien with no concept of an anus could figure it out. It is NOT COOL to smear your feces on the toilet seat. When you're crapping in the comfort of your assuredly filthy home, you can stain whatever surface you want. But every male on the 2nd floor has to use that bathroom, and we'd appreciate it if you can get your shit together. Literally.

4 comments:

Floyd said...

How does that happen? The shit on the seat thing? I just can't even imagine the situation where I'd miss the HUGE WATER-FILLED HOLE with my dump. Perhaps it's the shit-covered TP that's causing the smears? Still, a person should have the goddam decency to wipe up their shit from all surfaces, not just their fat, fat ass.

opedog said...

I don't get it either and I shit a shit ton. Yo peeps, I'll be hollering at y'all when I come in to the L town this weekend. I haven't seen you guys for a grip and it would be nice to make fun of you guys to your respective faces.

dn said...

Here's the kicker: paper toilet seat covers are readily available.

Dougal said...

You think thats bad.. Last place I worked at they managed to shit on the floor.. And that was in the womens toilet...