Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Dear Only Handicapped Guy On My Floor

You seem like a nice and reasonable man, so how's about we come to an understanding?

As you may know, there are only 3 stalls in the men's bathroom, and one of them is handicap-accessible. As you also may know, one of the normal stalls is usually unusable (I mean, poop on the seat? HOW DO YOU GET HIRED TO WORK HERE IF YOU CAN'T PREVENT YOUR POOP FROM LANDING ON THE TOILET SEAT? How do you LIVE?!). During high-volume periods, myself and others find ourselves with little other recourse than to utilize "your" stall.

Mind you, I don't feel all that comfortable when I use it. Physically, everything's fine - more than fine. But I'm a tad anxious in there, hoping you won't come in the restroom and find your stall occupied. That would be awful - I don't want you waiting for a spot that is rightfully yours. I were you, and someone was in my spot, I would be seriously pissed.

So, I'm happy to leave you what is rightfully yours whenever you need it; however, I have no way to know when you need it. Let's fix that.

We'll just put up a little sheet - tape it on the stall door, put a little golf-pencil next to it - and you can record the time when you use the stall. If I notice that you haven't visited for a while, I'll use one of the other stalls or even go to the restroom upstairs. Cool? Cool.

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