Medical Mumbo Jumbo

Things I learned from my doctor at my Monday appointment after I made the mistake of saying, "That's a pretty big cell phone":

--He has owned only one cell phone.

--His daughter has had several.

--He likes that cell phone, except sometimes he accidentally hits the "web" button, and is charged for internet fees.

--He finally decided to get a cell phone after his car broke down in the middle of Missouri.

--That car had some problem with the coil, which he worked around by turning on the heat full blast.

--His friend is getting a divorce, because his ex-wife-elect met somebody on the internet and ran off.

--He might have to testify in the divorce proceedings.

Other things I learned:

--I still feel fine.

--Patients taking Nexium are at higher risk of bacterial infections.

--The copay is still $30.