I met a gay male and his female friend last night in line for the restroom. Each decided that I was not gay, but each came to that judgement in a different way.At the right, you see a photograph of how I looked last night (sans shoes). I invite you to guess why the female said I was straight, and also guess how the male knew I was heterosexual.
Hint: One answer is an item of clothing, one is not.
Readers that were with me at the bar last night are not eligible to guess. The correct answers will be posted in the comments in 48 hours or so.
6 comments:
I'll say the guy knew you were straight because of your white socks. The girl knew because you had a massive erection while talking to her...
[-jeff.]
the guy knew you weren't gay because of your undershirt and the girl knew you were straight because you attempting to bend her over the bathroom sink.
pat
I think the girl knew because of the undershirt and the guy because you repeatedly fought off his attempts to bend you over the bathroom sink
Chris
Good effort, but you're all wrong.
The girl knew I was straight because of the shirt I was wearing. Maybe gay guys don't wear second-hand, American Eagle, brown, long-sleeved shirts. Maybe the "AE" on the shirt pocket is a little too frat to be gay?
The male claimed to know I was straight because he could SEE IT IN MY EYES. I am so attracted to women, heterosexual beams shoot through my retinas. That's how straight I am. That's how much I love tits.
Halloween pics will be posted late Tuesday. Hopefully.
OK, I know the secret has been revealed and all, but I think you look straight because you are a thin guy in a loose shirt. It's way too baggy for a gay man, unless he's hiding a gut, maaaaaybe. Even then, I think it is too loose for a gay man regardless of BMI (epi-speak is so sexy).
As for the non-clothing tip off, I would have guessed it was probably an eye contact thing. You probably didn't look at the guy the way a gay man would. But that is just a guess, which was obviously wrong because any truly gay man would just KNOW.
I can't wait to see your costume!! I promise not to be disappointed if it isn't as good as last year's. You can't be on top all the time.
...too frat to be gay? That is an inherent contradiction.
[-jeff.]
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