Friday, November 19, 2004

Let Me Give the World to You

She came by the office yesterday, bearing edible gifts and peddling her wares. To maintain privacy, we'll call her "Helen" -- I call her my Moon Goddess. All this talk of antigens and rates -- why can't we just so somewhere quiet and talk about us? I fear that husband and child or yours back in the suburbs don't appreciate you the way I do. You're the best drug rep in the world! You're a hotter version of Rebecca from The Real World: Seattle! You know, normally when the ladies wear those shawl/tablecloth looking things over their shoulders, I don't go for it -- but you, Helen, you're absolutely wearing that shawl! Do you see this assortment of delectibles you've spread out before me? If you gave me the chance, this is how you'd eat every day of the rest of your life! Look how thin and tan and athletic you are! Those piercing blue eyes! Why don't you come around more often? And maybe don't wear the wedding ring next time?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't think for a second that this woman doesn't know what a stalker you are. Girls can tell these things. Not only does she know, but I guarantee that she counts the seconds before she is able to leave your presence because you are creeping her out.

Anonymous said...

1) Funny how easy it is to throw names at people when you post anonymously...2) A hotter version of this Rebecca character??? Doesn't say much to me...I followed the link and was a little surprised, I thought we had more similar tastes in women...3) Don't sweat that ring, she's just playing hard to get. [-jeff.]

dn said...

I said she was a "hotter version". And actually, the picture in my mind of Rebecca was quite a bit more flattering than the real thing. I think the eyes are pretty comparable, and they're both blonde, but after that things start to fall apart - Helen is much more tan, much more athletic build, she owns a much larger piece of my heart...