Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Burning Man

I received CPR and first aid training today. While my co-workers were taking phone calls and crunching numbers, I was treated to hilarious instructional videos. Sure, there was standard fare: man falling off ladder, worker sans gloves getting a chemical burn, woman trips and breaks her ankle, baby falls into pool, man gets bitten by a raccoon. One dramatic re-enactment was extraordinary. A woman was driving with a male passenger, when she suddenly stopped. "That man is on fire!" she screamed. The camera zooms out to reveal a burning man stumbling - and I mean, Frankensteinesque stumbling, hands out, taking a route not unlike those seen in Family Circus - across the screen.

When a similar incident takes place at my office, I'll be sure to do as the video instructed: chase after the man, beating the flames with my coat, shouting, "STOP, DROP AND ROLL!!"

I was disappointed with the lack of "Don't you die on me!"s and "No, God, take me instead!"s in the instructional videos; still, award them two thumbs up.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was there any mention of the precordial thump? One of my friends is working the ER and they had someone who coded at the office this morning and the doctor performed this manuever, which basically consists of punching the dying man as hard as you can in the sternum. It worked and probably saved the guy's life. -cvj

dn said...

If I would title this post, I would call it "Ain't Nobody Thumpin' Around", as there was zero mention of such a procedure. Liability might be an issue - you know, they're hoping we aren't going to break anyone's sternum. Of course, now that I've heard the term, I consider myself and expert, immune from prosecution. Thump I shall.

Anonymous said...

I'll be sure to include that precordial thump on my cardiac skills exam next week.

Heather