Loathe Lohse

[NOTE: You will not care about any of this.]

I read this the other day on Yahoo Sports:

Though Brad Radke has had two rough outings so far, he's as reliable as they come. And Johan Santana showed his Cy Young Award form with a seven-inning, 11-strikeout performance against the White Sox on Sunday. But contending teams need more than two quality starters, so it's up to Mays and Kyle Lohse to live up to the standards set by the Twins' top two.

"We know what we can do," Lohse said.

Here's the thing, Kyle, I DO know what you're capable of. During my season ticket year in Minnesota, I watched you pitch more times that I care to remember, and I was less than impressed. One outing sticks in my mind more than the other equally mediocre efforts. I was sitting in my usual spot (upper deck, left-center field, near the concourse exit with quick access to the food stand, the ice cream-in-a-helmet stand, and the men's restroom...what a magical place of convergence that was), keeping score. That's right, Kyle, I was keeping score. I was there alone - my season ticket pal, Jeff, was absent. I had nothing to distract me from your performance. You sucked. You gave up, seriously, back to back to back to back doubles to the Angels. I know; I wrote them down on my scorecard. You still suck. You make $2.4 million this year despite this fact. Also, you are a pretty boy with stupid facial hair. I hate you. You and Jacque Jones. Go Royals.