Saturday, February 19, 2005

Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

These are piling up again, so it's time for another fascinating edition of search engine queries that have led people to the Tornado Slide. I've highlighted my favorites:
ashlee simpson's roommate Stephanie (Google)
meth mites under skin (Yahoo)
winston, churchill, timepiece (Google)
dan braff (Google)
reader's digest issue of contents where men are stranded and they eat their dogs live (Google)
ashlee simpson's "butt crack" (Google)
gyllenhaal shaved head 2005 (Google Brazil)
Pregnant Charizard Pictures (Google)
McSweeney's "Issue 15" (Google)
candle wax crystal meth (Yahoo)
netherlands "left side" lyrics mama (Google Brazil)
bono's speeches (Yahoo)
"male stereotypes" "se (Google)
"saved by the bell" + "screech" + "new generation" + "photos" (Google)
ashlee simpson's parent's divorce (Google)
ashlee simpson's buttcrack (Google)
"peed in her" (Google France)
hardee's commercial bullriding (Yahoo Video)
DJ Tanner And Kimmy Lesbian Stories (Google)
"john mayer" and "jew" and "songwriter" (Yahoo)
phospho-soda suit (Google)
"chad pennington" fan site random photos hot pictures sexy (Google)
nirvana i was the black sheep of the family (Yahoo)
diabetes test machine "BB King" (Google)
"mechanical bull" "when the ladies" (Google UK)
carl's jr bullriding girl (Google)
carl's jr tv commercials bull rider (Yahoo)
Carl's Jr. Bullriding Ad (Google)
carl's jr girl bullriding commercial (Yahoo)
carl's jr bullriding commercial (Google)
photo phospho prep nausea (Google)

Of note: all but one of the Carl's Jr.-related searches occurred on the same day. Odd. And even if you were stranded with other men and some dogs, wouldn't you go ahead and kill the dogs before you eat them? Have you ever tried eating a dog alive? I mean, it's tough enough to simply bathe them - imagine trying to skin them! Or don't - it's probably better you don't. I'd like to give the anonymous internet reasearcher the benefit of the doubt - maybe he meant they ate their dogs to live, but I doubt it. He put other extraneous words in his search (i.e. "of", "are", "and"), you'd think he would have added "to" as well.

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