How the superhunks stole your high school girlfriend
[NOTE: In addition to naming Jude Law 2004's Sexiest Man Alive, People magazine picked nine "off the charts" sexy superstars: Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal, Usher, Colin Farrell, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis and Johnny Depp.]
Colin Farrell literally stole your high school girlfriend.
He stuffed her into the trunk of a white Ford Taurus and drove across the state to a simple, secluded cabin.
She was given everything she asked for, aside from her freedom. When Colin went away on business, your girlfriend was met by loneliness; she missed her family, and to a much, much lesser extent, you.
Fortunately, Colin would return home before she became despondent. He always remembered to bring a present, too, to make up for his absence. It was usually jewelry or a scented candle.
They now have three beautiful, home-schooled children.
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