The Verb, the Object, or the Mammal?

So Seal, of Batman soundtrack fame, is engaged to wed Heidi Klum. This makes perfect sense. No jokes about his face, please - he got those thingies because he had lupus as a child. Still, there's no excuse for the stage name. Seal? Really? You're going to go with Seal?

"Sir, you've got to hear this British man's voice! It's so smooth - he's bound to be an icon of '90s R&B!"
"Settle down, Gary, you know an important music executive like myself doesn't have time for your nonsense."
"Sorry Dale! But listen to THIS!!"
(inserts tape into stereo)
"Wow! This is good stuff! This is Batman soundtrack good! Gary, what did you say this guy's name was?"
"Walrus, sir. He goes by the name of Walrus."
"Goo! Change his name to Seal and give him a contract."

Whether you're referring to its verbal form, a seal of approval, or the animals mercilessly clubbed for their economic value, that's one shitty choice. What kind of world to we live in where everyone just accepts the fact that a man calls himself Seal, AND this man has locked down Heidi Klum?

While we're making incredulous comments about the entertainment world, this little nugget bears mentioning: Kate Bosworth has been selected to play Lois Lane in the new Superman movie. I've read that she beat out other Lois hopefuls like Beyonce and Elisha Cuthbert. WHAAAAAAAAA?

Beyonce was being considered for the part of Lois freaking Lane? If you want to go away from the image of Lois as a brunette, fine. If you want to make her a different race, fine. But Beyonce?? Can anyone imagine a scenario in which Beyonce would make a good job portraying a plucky newspaper reporter?

If you see Beyonce, please pass on this message: More videos (and songs) like Naughty Girl, less tryouts for stubborn newspaper reporters.

Oh and if you see Kate Bosworth tell her to relax - no one could have been a less attractive, less likeable Lois Lane than that chick who played her originally.