Tuesday, March 01, 2005

It Hantas My Dreams

I had a dream on Saturday night. It was really involved, but I only remember a small part of it. (I didn't have to write that last sentence, did I? No one remembers entire dreams. So much for brevity.) It was one of those dreams - you wake up and you think your subconscious has uncovered something profound, and you're excited about the possibilities of this new idea that will revolutionize an industry or comprise the theme of your bestseller. Then your brain starts to work, then you realize your subconscious is just as stupid as you are.

My dream was about a group of scientists with a theory: the hantavirus was introduced to America via a contaminated Egyptian sarcophagus.

The only problems with this theory, the theory I thought was AMAZING during my first 3 post-sleep minutes, are:
*Very few Egyptian sarcophaguses (sadly, the plural is not sarcophagi) have made it to the New World (fucking Britain!), and even fewer have arrived unopened.

*No hantavirus has ever been found in Africa so far as I can tell.

1 comment:

Floyd said...

Why are you letting facts get in the way of what sounds like a kick-ass screenplay?

When people start dying of hantavirus, people should initially assume it's because of an ancient Egyption curse. A historian begins trying to unravel the mystery before more people die (like DaVinci Code).

Then a handsome young epidemiologist discovers that there's no mystical hocus-pocus at play here, merely common biology. Deadly biology. A panic ensues as people are now scared of hantavirus (like Outbreak). But, because hantavirus is rather easy to prevent, the outbreak is easily contained and life goes on, with the sarcophogas on display at the Smithsonian or something.

Then, at the end of the movie, the main characters breathe a sigh of relief, as they were able to stop the hantavirus outbreak and solve the mystery. As they walk out of the museum, the camera pans in on the sarcophogas, and the eyes light up or something. Roll credits. Instant sequel!