Low Grade Fever

Bill Simmons had some thoughts on the upcoming Jimmy Fallon vehicle Fever Pitch, which I previously discussed:

So here's my question: Why am I rooting so hard for a movie that prominently involves footage of Fenway Park, David Ortiz, the 2004 World Series celebration, the city of Boston and everything else to fail?

I narrowed it down to four reasons:

1. Not only was Nick Hornby's book about following an English soccer team, not only was it one of the better sports books ever written, but they already MADE it into a movie eight years ago. If you're going to bastardize the idea and Americanize it about the Red Sox, at least call it something different. I'm not sure why this enrages me, but it does. The lack of creativity in Hollywood is appalling. It really is.

2. If you're making a Red Sox movie, and you want Sox fans to like it, you cannot cast Jimmy Fallon. You just can't. It's bad enough that he admitted he doesn't like sports, and that he's had three favorite baseball teams over the course of his life -- the Mets, Yankees and Red Sox. More important, it's Jimmy Fallon! He's your choice as a diehard Sox fan, a guy who always looks like he's wearing makeup? Who was the runner-up for the role, the lead singer from Train? Think of it this way -- imagine if Jimmy Fallon played either of the lead roles in "Good Will Hunting"? Would that have EVER happened? So why the hell is he in this movie? I always thought the casting of Timothy Hutton and Michael Rapaport in "Beautiful Girls" was the least realistic casting of any Massachusetts character ever, but this one takes the cake. They could have hired 50 Cent to play the lead character and it would have been more realistic.

3. The trailer screams "chick flick," which is bad enough, but the scene where Fallon's character drops to his knee and makes the Opening Day proposal ... I mean, what guy would ever do that, and what woman wouldn't kill him with her bare hands afterwards? Is it possible to take the movie seriously after that scene? I say no. I'm also worried that this is one of those movies that will give women ideas -- like, "If Drew Barrymore can tame Jimmy Fallon and get him to stop watching so much sports by the end of this movie, maybe my man will follow suit!"

4. I don't blame Fallon and Drew Barrymore for being on the field right after Game 4 of the World Series, since they were actors just doing their job; if anything, I blame the Red Sox for allowing it to happen, as well as the Farrellys for not understanding how offensive that moment was for every Red Sox fan who had been waiting their entire life to see their team finally win a championship -- it was like cutting the umbilical cord of your first baby while Fallon and Barrymore were inexplicably making out five feet away. The fact remains, it happened, there's no going back, and I hope the movie bombs because of it.