The Other Archives - Fernando

From winter 2001:

I was studying for the Biostatistics final in my apartment. It was night, and I heard some commotion from the apartment I share a wall with. The only things/words I'm CERTAIN I heard that night were:

"Don't EVER call me MOTHERFUCKER! Don't you EVER call me motherFUCKER!"

I believe there was a slap or hit of some kind before, after, or between these statements. There was also talk of one person wanting the other person (the one who was slapped) the fuck out of the apartment. Then there was nothing for the rest of the night - nothing I heard, anyway.

Fast forward to the next day; I, again, was dutifully studying for a biostatistics test that would turn out to be amazingly simple. I heard voices again from next door, and forced myself to write some of the lines down (these lines have been on 2 post-it notes on my desk for the last 7 months, and thank God I can finally throw those away).

First there was sounds that may have been the moving of things in a closet, such as the sound that may have been wire hangers moving on a rod. Then I believe there was the sound of a door unlocking and opening, followed immediately by a "where are you going/what are you doing sort of comment by a man I believe to be Robert. (Robert, although I have never met him, must be the name, as people sometimes come around to the back parking lot and shout up to his window, "Robert!", prompting him to leave the apartment, go downstairs and let them in the building. I may have seen Robert before, but there's no way to tell, as it may have been a friend of his entering/exiting the apartment.) The following is from my post-it notes from that morning, verbatim, keeping in mind there was MUCH emotion in these words, more than CAPS or italics would do justice, so much so that I'm not going to bother:

Fernando don't go!
I'll change!
I will change
I promise you
I am sick enough
I am jealous enough
Why me?
I'll change
I promise you, Fernando!
I will I will I will
I'm sorry
I won't ever do it again
I'll be good
I'm sorry Fernando…no…NO!
I'll never do it again!
Please forgive me I will be different…no, really honey
I won't ever hurt you ever again
I promise you
I don't know, Fernando, I don't know
Will you stay for Christmas?
It's only one week
-but Fernando you don't TALK to me!
Do you think I have a right to be jealous?
I promise I will never do that again. NEVER! NEVER!!!

very long pause, Robert ends his audible diatribe, the final line belonging to Fernando:

Goodbye.

With that, it was over, and Fernando left. A few minutes later, I heard the Righteous Brothers' Unchained Melody through the wall - a touch of tenderness by this man who hit his boyfriend and positively wailed his case to his victim, only to be left alone (a week before Christmas!) I'm not sure what terms they're on now. I have heard Fernando's loud Latino music in early 2002, but I haven't seen him lately. I do not miss him.